It was weeks that I haven’t talked to her and yesterday I came across her blog. The name brought a huge smile on my face just because of the obsession for her sunsign. I started reading it, the first article and the second and the third and so on.They were not the writings, it was like she is just sitting next to me and talking about the things that happened to her. The articles were so lively and that is where the true success of a writer is. As soon as I came to the last article in which she described her boyfriend and the memories and the panda league. Well I am sure in the next birth she is going to be panda.
I was smiling reading each word of it. I just searched for her number to appreciate her, I was in full senses when I texted her and as soon I said her bye I broke down. I was not able to stand up, I wished to shout. At that time I realized it was me who ruined everything. She was nowhere around me. I made a mountain out of a molehill. I don’t know I just opened her blog again and read that article again. I was very happy that she is in love, the kind of relationship she never had in past. She genuinely felt that and when she wrote I hope someday we can talk better. I love you. At that time I only wished that if I knew his name I would just talk with him and tell him dude you won’t get anyone like her. I destroy myself so that I can love her. Don’t let her go. Hold on. Happiness starts from her.
That night I didn’t went to bed. I held my inner beast with me, I held a trigger and I sat with my past reviving every memory I can remember. I smiled like an idiot but I didn’t cry because I don’t have to. I didn’t allowed myself to close my eyes though my eyes begged for mercy, the body said it won’t be able to take much but her memories were enough to forget that pain.
Someday I wish I could I meet her again and we can talk like nothing happened. I hope someday she meets in some coffee shop and we can give it one more try. I hope this hopes helps me to live like the way I want to lived.