There came a time in my life when I do not want giveup, I wish to holdon, I want to make everything alright. However, in the end all I have to do was to giveup. I had to letgo. That day I realised that happiness is not always about holding any particular thing, but happiness is when you have to letgo that thing, matter or person for the happiness of person who is so concerned to you. Yes, I was sad, I cried, I nailed my head,I gave myself all the pain; the pain of losing my love. I still feel the same. There is no end and will never be any end of that pain; it will continue to rip me off.
I know all things around me will change by just one thing I say and I still need to say that, just for the sake of happiness, for peace of mind of someone I love. I get the feeling of happiness and on the same time much more pain of losing her. This feeling will shatter you.
All my things changed, my routine changed, I stopped talking; I started sleeping more; I started feeling lonely; I went mad but still when someone even speaks her name, all my senses come back to work and my eyes search for her, my ears wait desperately to hear her voice and then I realize that it was just an illusion I had.
All I was left with were some tears accompanying my pain and telling it’s okay we are here with you.When my cell phone beeps, I feel that it’s her call but I find it is of someone else. I just wish to throw my phone. Sometimes I think I should call her just because the feeling that scars me always is my conscience telling me Vyom what if she will never call or text you. For god’s sake just call her,open your networking apps tell her everything. But what do I tell her?
When I hear her voice I just have that tears and that happiness realising she is okay and I just disconnect my call saying I will talk with you later. Nevertheless, what if I will never talk to her?Will she miss me like the way I miss her? Will she remember me that, yes this guy meant something to me? Will she ever call me back? This questions threatens me even in my worst dreams.
However, I get this feeling no matter what I will love her. Maybe we will meet sometime, someday, somewhere down the lane when the city is sleeping, the roads are lonely and she meets me so that I can express everything to her.