Nuclear Happened To Us For A Reason

You know even after not knowing the culture you can talk with so much of depth you are good to go. What is important is how you approach things. Culture to some extent teaches you that. You chose your fight and your teachings are weapons to it. Your pen is your religion, my friend. At least after talking to you for a while, I can say that.


It was 12 am, I was smoking the last puff of my advanced sitting in the varanda of my room at an IIT-K hostel when I heard a knock on my door. I opened the door thinking that it will be Shivi, however, to my surprise there were two guys whom I haven’t met.  One of them looked like an idiot and another one a gentleman.

Before I ask them anything, the idiot asked me, “Hey, I am Vivaswat and the batchmate of your roommate Chirag. Chirag told me that you smoke, do you have an extra cigarette?”

Vivaswat came to the room and jumped on Chirag like a monkey. No wonder he looked like one of their breeds. Nevertheless, there was something about the other guy. He was calm, had a smile on his face and looking at him the only thing I could make out was he was a Bengali. I gave them the remaining two advanced telling him that I will see you at the conference the other day. But I kept thinking about the other guy as it seemed that he is an artist. He had a different kind of aura — the one like the stillness of the mountains and the depths of the ocean.

The next day at the conference I came to know they were from UPES and were no different from me. When I say no different it means that we knew nothing about Nuclear neither did we care about the Nuclear Security lectures. I bonded well with all of them, however, there was still the air of mystery about him until the time we decided to party together in Shivi’s room.

It is said that alcohol and cigarettes build the best bond and I think it was the same in my case. I was sitting outside in the verandah sitting with my beer and advanced and Aryamadev Das joined me. His name was Aryamadev Das and he was a Bengali. I greeted him with a smile and in response, he did the same. His smile had that warmth and a feeling of knowing each other since years.

He casually said, “Your cigarettes were the savior in this conference.”

Having a sip of my magnum I replied, “Cigarettes have always been my savior. Be it for running away from my problems or for giving me the strength to face them. By the way, why did you opt for Nuclear Engineering?” 

Das: “Well, I always had a soft corner of physics and so the course happened. I worked in an industry for a year and then thought of doing a PG. What about you?”

Me: “I never wished to take this course, I am a writer and wished to study philosophy after my mechanical engineering. However, parents didn’t allow me to and in the back of my mind, I made a decision to not to study mechanical again. Maybe, that is why nuclear happened. Moreover, I don’t see any scope for us in the near future.”

Das: “WOW, Vyombhai you are a writer. You have no idea how glad I am to meet someone like you after so long. I write poetry and Tagoredada is my ideal. Also, I do sing at times and a lot more into the culture. I do not where Nuclear field will lead us but I am glad IIT-K happened to me as I have met you.”

The way Aryamadev talks made me feel like I wish to listen to him just way I use to listen to my grandma’s stories. He has the quality to hypnotize you with his sweetness. He was a philosophical man with an individual approach towards leading his life.

Before, I could talk more, as usual Vivaswat came and snatched the cigarette from his hand getting angry for having more than one. When I asked why that time Das told me that doctor has refused him to smoke after the infection on lungs. I felt a little bad but I did not mind him having the other one as the way we were talking I wished that it continues for the entire night.

It was Janmasthmi the next day and IIT-K celebrates the festival in it’s truest essence that is what I have heard. It was 11:55 pm and I asked if anyone wants to join me to witness the birth of Lord Krishna. He was the first one to say yes. Also Vivaswat, Deepankar and Sai joined later.

I was walking with Das ahead and then I asked him, “What makes you write? I would love to read your poems. Though I do not know how to read Bengali.”

Das very humbly replied, “Vyombo, I would translate them to hindi for you. Also, my culture makes me write.  I took part in theatre and my family at every step made me realise the beauty of our culture. I have spent my childhood listening to the Panchatantra stories and poems of Tagore. Literature runs in my blood now. If today I stop writing or maybe even try to stay away from my culture, I know it will follow me as my soul is madly in love with it”

Me: “I wish I could say that. I am the one who hardly knows about my culture. I grew sitting with my study books and nothing else. Maybe, that is why a part of me seems to be missing.”

Das: “You know even after not knowing the culture you can talk with so much of depth you are good to go. What is important is how you approach things. Culture to some extent teaches you that. You chose your fight and your teachings are weapons to it. Your pen is your religion, my friend. At least after talking to you for a while, I can say that.”

He could directly see right through me at that time. At that time, I felt I was honest with someone after so long. We enjoyed the Janmashtami celebrations together and when in the line to take the prasad. He took two bowls of the sweet. I could not resist saying that no wonder you will loving sweets. He asked me what do I like to which I said anything except Rasgulla. Also, I haven’t tried the fish yet. He promised to treat me with a Pomphret fish and rice whenever I come to Kolkatta. His love and stories of Durgo Pujo intrigued to read more about Bengali culture. One thing I will have on my bucket list will be to attend a Pujo once in my life. The love for Durgo Pujo clearly showed Das’s attachment to his motherland and culture.

While returning he asked me, “Writers destroyed themselves in love. Have you been in love.”

I took a pause and answered with a smile, “I crave for one but somewhere trampled in order to see her happy.”

He didn’t ask me any further and said we share the same story and then shown me his engagement ring. It took a lot but you know wait for the right time, things will fall into place is what he said.

After reaching to the hostel I told him goodbye and went to my room with a smile. It was the smile of satisfaction. It was a smile of finding someone who fits into my theory of an ideal man. The man with typical Bengali eyes, with the complexion of Lord Krishna and the smile of kid, lives on the principles that he defines. It felt as if I know him from years.

Today, he is in France but we still exchange letters and talk about life in the most unexpected way and always there when we need each other.









The Contradiction Of Delusion Is Another Delusion

In the end, I end up thinking is there any middle way? However, if I cut a false belief in two halves, it will just multiply. So now, instead of making choice of right and wrong, I will have 2 more perceptions i.e. to find right in wrong and vice versa.

What is wrong? What is right? Whose perception is more substantial than other? Who is better than whom? Why do we objectify these things when they are very subjective in nature. However, I am a person who is wavering through all these things and trying to make sense out of it.

For me, everything I hear or see feels the same. As soon as I try to categorize them, I feel like I am swaggering in the middle of the wooden bridge. When I make the choice of staying on one side of the bridge, the other end restricts my entry permanently and vice versa. By taking the side of the bridge I refer to my perception of right and wrong. And if I try to present them with reasons, all of sudden it no longer remains subjective.

Lately, I realise that selecting one side of the bridge is a delusion—a delusion which is intentionally created in order to make you feel guilty, anxious or even satisfied at times. However, the question is why do we always fall into the trap of this fallacy? Or are we forced to be a part of it? The mystery still lies in the philosophy of taking the stand of one thing.

We have always been told that you should tell what you feel. However, when you express the things, there is no guarantee that it will be taken in a good manner. It will be subjective from the point of view of the person to whom it is addressed. It is just like selecting one ice cream from two flavors which you hate equally. Yes, I suffer because of this, as it feels very contradictory in general and trying to find contradiction to this contradiction makes me fall into a greater version of delusion.

This delusion is the delusion of choice—the delusion where I think I have more than one choice. And if you fall into this trap, then the only way out is either take the beating or make no choice. Because how can you choose from something that is merely a false belief. A belief about which you know nothing. It is like you are in 6th std and you are sent to IIT tuitions so that you will crack JEE exams. It is delusion which contradicts the false belief of clearing JEE exams.

In the end, I end up thinking is there any middle way? However, if I cut a false belief in two halves, it will just multiply. So now, instead of making choice of right and wrong, I will have 2 more perceptions i.e. to find right in wrong and vice versa. This even complicates things to an extent that it is not possible to get out.

The mind says the only way to get out of this is too fucking not take any part in the game of right or wrong, truth or lie, reality, and fantasies or examining the efficacy of the substantiality of matter. Nevertheless, here principles come in between and tell how can you just run away from making a decision? Now, this is not a delusion, but it is a conscious effort to contradict all the contradiction of delusions in the name of principles and decisions. The conscious effort is again the subjective part of your mind which tells you to believe that your decisions are objective in nature.

In the end, I decided to take a vote, a vote which tells me to what extent I should fall into the trap of delusions. This again contradicts the theory of life and it goes on…



I Belong To…

I was told that India has nothing to offer you. It cannot offer you a good salary, peace, and happiness. This country will not change. I was always asked why I love INDIA so much, what makes me feel so proud of being an INDIAN. So today I just decided to pen it down that why I am proud of belonging to the land of Gods. Today my identity is due to my country. It gave me the identity of being an Indian. The proud citizen with an individual identity that this nation gave me.  The identity, which I will take with me until my last breath.
The country where emotion lives, where you explore life, where love fills up your stomach and who teaches the world the principle of EKAM.
I belong to the country who gave the world the invention of zero without which our lacs and crores would have no value. I belong to the country who considers money as the form of goddess Lakshmi. If I talk about the contribution of India in the field of education it is indispensable. The world’s first university was established in 700 BC. More than 10500 students from all over the world studied more than 60 subjects. The Buddhayana first calculated the value of PI and he explained the concept of now what is known as Pythagoras theorem. The place value system, the decimal system was developed in India since 100 BC. Yes, I belong to the nation from where the algebra, trigonometric and the concept of quadratic equations were established.
I am the citizen of the country where people with more than 200 religions stays and still each of them have their individual identity. I belong to the country who fought for their independence for more than 150 years. I belong to the nation that gave birth to leaders like Subhash Chandra Bose and Vallabhbhai Patel. I belong to a place where Swami Vivekananda was born. I belong to a realm who gave the world the great scientists like Dr. Homi Bhabha.  The country who contributed to the world in the field of science, sports, space, politics, and the technology. I belong to the nation who gave the world the sports person like Sachin Tendulkar, M.S. Dhoni, Sushil Kumar, Pankaj Advani, Kapil Dev, Sania Mirza, and Major Dhyanchand etc. India gave the games like chess and Kabaddi to the world. Talking about politics, it gave the world a political leader like Sir Bajpai, Narendra Modi, Shashi Tharoor.

Talking about architecture, when the western culture was not yet developed, we Indians developed Indus valley civilization around 5000 years ago. It is the oldest civilization in the world. Indus valley civilization is then followed by Buddhist architecture and the Indian rock-cut architecture,  Dravidian architecture, Badami chalukya architecture and yes, how can I forget the Indo-Mughal architecture or the Mughal architecture. Tajmahal is one of the eight wonders of the world. I belong to the country where the architecture was the soul of people here and known all over the world.

I belong to that land who is one of the eight countries having the nuclear power. I belong to a country where the great Chanakya was born. I feel right in the nation that has the second largest army in this world. I belong to a country who gave the world the power of yoga and who celebrates peace. I belong to the biggest democracy of the world where the richest person and the poorest person are given equal rights. I belong to motherland that successfully launched the satellite at Mars, which has the most innovative technology. The USA, the super power of today has just 3.22 Millions of Indians in the USA that is 1.5 % of total Population. YET, 38% Of Doctors in the USA are Indians. 12% Scientists In The USA Are Indians. 36% Of NASA Scientists Are Indians. 34% Of Microsoft Employees Are Indians. 28% Of IBM Employees Are Indians. 17% Of INTEL Scientists Are Indians. CEO of PEPSI, CEO of GOOGLE and CEO of Microsoft is an INDIAN, We Indians reside in each and every corner of the world and yes not to forget are contributing tremendously in every sector.
I belong to a country where every week one festival is celebrated. The country where the essence of ancient culture is still preserved and known all over the world. The country that evolved and is evolving since last 5000 years.
Yes, I belong to the future superpower of the world. I belong to India, where the people who sleep on the pavement and the person who sleeps in a palace has the same identity. The land where 60 percent of people are farmers, who manage to provide food for 1.25 hundred crore people. I belong to the land where life exists and you can feel it in your each breath.
Some Quotes that makes me feel more proud to be an INDIAN.
“We Owe a Lot to the Indians, Who Taught Us How to Count, Without Which No Worthwhile Scientific Discovery Could Have Been Made”
–Albert Einstein.

“India Is The Cradle Of The Human Race, The Birthplace Of Human Speech, The Mother Of History, The Grandmother Of Legend And The Great Grand Mother Of Tradition”

–Mark Twain.

“If There Is One Place On The Face Of Earth Where All Dreams Of Living Men Have Found A Home From The Very Earliest Days When A Man Began The Dream Of Existence, It Is India”

–French Scholar Romain Rolland.
Today it might not be the super power, but yes ancient India was the richest country in the ancient times. In addition, today instead of saying India has nothing if we pursue and understand our responsibilities India can be the superpower very soon. It is always about working to our potential and not blaming the country for our bad.
Yes, I belong to INDIA.

The Reservation Story


A few years ago, when we heard the word “Reservation”, the first thought that crossed our minds was equal opportunities and upliftment of backward classes. But now, all we can think of are disturbances, violent protests, and buses on fire. What prompted our lawmakers to introduce reservation as a policy in the first place?

Reservation is a quota-based system that was introduced as a possible solution to the practice of caste-based discrimination prevailing in India at the time of independence. The primary aim of this policy was to instill a sense of equality amongst the scheduled castes, scheduled tribes and other backward classes. Reservations were given to them in public sector units and the government institutions. Decades after the implementation of this policy, the Supreme Court of India announced that the reservation should not exceed 49.5%.

Category as per Government of India Reservation Percentage as per Government of India
Scheduled Castes (SC) 15%
Scheduled Tribes (ST) 7.5%
Other Backward Classes (OBC) 27%

When this law was implemented, social stigma forced the people belonging to backward classes to change their surnames. Societal reputation was more important to them than their overall development. As time passed and literacy rates increased, a lot of people started realizing the incentives of these provisions and started taking advantage of it. Today when the nation is developing, we see a total change in the mindset of our citizens. We see people fighting for minority rights and asking for reservation rather protesting against it. Seems like everyone wants the easy way out. Changing a name in an affidavit is always easier than going through a rigorous examination, isn’t it?

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Edited by Rushi Bhimani and Aashna Kanuga

At present, certain parts of India seem to have a limited understanding of caste-based reservation. There are many states that still defy the 49.5% quota set by the Supreme Court.
• In Tamil Nadu, the reservation is 18% for SCs and 1% for STs, based on local demographics.
• In Northeast India, especially in Arunachal Pradesh, Meghalaya, Nagaland and Mizoram, reservation for STs in State Govt. jobs is 80% with only 20% unreserved. In the Central Universities of NEHU(Shillong) and in Rajiv Gandhi University, 60% of seats are reserved for ST students.
• In Andhra Pradesh, 25% of educational institutions and government jobs are reserved for OBCs, 15% for SCs, 6% for STs and 4% for Muslims.
• In West Bengal, 35% of educational institute seats and government jobs are reserved for SCs, STs, and OBCs (22% SC, 6%ST, 7% for OBC A & B). There is no reservation on religious basis, but some economically and educationally backward Muslim castes (on the basis of surnames and pertaining to different professions e.g. cobbler, weaver etc.) have been included along with their Hindu counterparts in OBC lists namely OBC A and OBC B. However, in higher educational institutes, until now there is no reservation for the OBC community. On the other hand, there are reservations for admissions in primary, secondary and higher secondary schools.

Starting with Maharashtra (2006, Dalits) followed by Gujarat (2015, Patidar) then Andhra Pradesh (2016, Kapu community) and now Haryana (2016, Jat community) demanded extra reservations. The demand turned into a violent protest at the cost of many innocent lives and properties worth crores of Rupees. It is estimated that the Gujarat government incurred the loss of 10 thousand crores during the protests of Patidars and Haryana 34 thousand crores.

How come we fail to realize that such protests hinder the harmony? How come we fail to realize these movements affect our nation’s progress? How come we fail to realize the citizens’ well-being is put on a stake? How come we fail to realize the collateral damage is extensive?


Reservations on the basis of caste is provided for holistic equality but, is it serving the purpose or deepening the roots of inequality in a country that is so diverse?

Eventually, things will turn out to be what they always have been. The rich becomes richer and poor becomes poorer. In my opinion, these agitations are blatant attempts to blackmail the state into submission.
The only drawback of this policy is that reservation is solely based on the backwardness of a particular class irrespective of the economic status of an individual.
We are in the 69th year of independence and it’s about time we realize that our actions are reaffirming the opinions that outsiders have about India. Blaming the government, the police, or the citizens who were the part of the violent protests does not lead us to an amicable solution. We, as citizens, need to question the government : Why are there still caste-based reservations, despite the fact that in almost 70 years of independence, the backward classes have availed themselves these rights which have helped their community grow? To question this we need to find a common ground where riots have no place. The people who suffer because of these riots are the people who have nothing to do with them.

We people become so selfish for some reservation. I guess humanity is our foremost duty. We say India is very emotional country but why we always use that thing as our weakness when we know it can be our strength.
I just have one question that for what we are fighting today.
No reservations-then fight in such a way where humanity, rules and regulations are not questioned. Where if limited people are there but at least they know for what motto they are here rather than bringing lakhs of people and out of them, thousands of them do not know what they are here. Make sure we do not bring politics; we do not bring rules and regulation. Just because we are a democratic country, we just do not have right to do anything. The integrity of the nation should be protected no matter what because we represent them. Be an Indian first then whatever you want to be. Respect your motherland.


Best seller (Tale #8)

Title: Best seller

“Did your life come to an end?”

“No, but I do not have the enough strength to pursue it. I am not meant for engineering.”, he said

To which his conscience explained, “Sometimes you do not have to fit in the categories or live the way the prime movers wants. It is you as an individual, your call and your life; break the barriers and lead by an example.”

today his story is sold as the best seller.

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closure: Sometimes to do the things we wish, we need to step out, listen to our conscience and follow it. It might make us a misfit but the aftermath will just result into self satisfaction.

Tale #7

This tale revolves around the love of a person for his motherland India. When was he being asked a question why India? The only thing he can answer is he belongs to the land where love and emotions fill up his stomach. For him, his heart beats for his motherland and he wishes to serve his country till his last breath.

– Indian Citizen




An Insight To Insecurity

( Writer’s note: Edited by Abha Mehra)

Insecurity is one of the most basic and certainly the most dangerous emotions experienced by almost every person that has ever lived. It is a grey phase of the human attachment. Anger, jealousy and anguish branch out from this inevitable feeling.

It is no secret that lack of trust gives birth to the inescapable insecurity. Ah, and you know what accelerates the process of insecurity? Overthinking. The best way to describe overthinking is to say that it is that process where the mind is forced to think about the things which have almost zero probability of taking place in reality.

I always felt that the main reason for being insecure is the lack of expression of one’s feelings. The plethora of feelings enslave us to this over-consuming state of being. Due to those feelings we tend to think: ‘If I tell him these things, will it upset him?’ ‘He never tells me anything. Should I ask myself?’ ‘Is it alright if I confide into her?’ ‘Is she going to leave me if I fail to meet her demands?’

I wonder, why do these type of questions arise? These are just due to feelings; feelings that develop into questions and the worst part is we think of all those questions but we never ask them. They just stay buried deep inside. They settle in and haunt our conscience. Taunt us both consciously and subconsciously.

Very often I have heard that feelings are meant to be expressed and not to be questioned. Questions are meant to be asked and not to be stored. And the questions that are not asked give birth to unsolicited thoughts which lead us to the insecure state of being. Sounds sorted, doesn’t it?

Not to forget, the biggest evil is expectations. We human beings are always tied with the bond of expectations. Granted, we are not saints but there should always be a break point to expectations. Expectations creep in when we do things for the person we are attached to or the one we love. As selfless as it may seem, but somewhere there is an unconscious selfish motive i.e. to justify our feelings for that person. So indirectly we do things for ourselves but we say we are supporting altruism. So for every piece of sacrifice we do, we expect the same from the opposite person. Why? What remains of sacrifice if we expect something in return? And when we don’t get anything in return we end up getting hurt. We think people are taking us for granted and do not respect our efforts. We think we are not appreciated. We end up feeling insecure about that relationship. We feel there is nothing that matches up the pristine act of  sacrifice. But then why are we still unsatisfied? Have we ever wondered?

Like aforementioned jealousy is one of the results of insecurity, which well kind of leads up to possessiveness. Jealousy and possessiveness always run neck to neck. When we get jealous of relations concerned to any person with whom we are attached, we start getting possessive. In the same way when we start getting possessive, we tend to get jealous.

It is all so twisted and to be honest, makes me nauseous.

How can we get rid of all these acidic things? This pretense? This self doubting aspect in existence? The only answer that I can think of is to develop an identity divorced of any other element. Why to complicate things when it is all so simple? Why to add extra elements when the world can run on just two elements? Express things, start accepting the things and go a little gentle over things that do not support your soul.

In some ways this portrays insecurity as a black phase, but it is not all black you see. It is grey because the only and probably the most important aspect is that we learn that we are bound to feel things that might make us uneasy or are not according to our initial plan.  We can’t ignore this. We have to accept it and live with it. We can never destroy it because we are addicted to worldly pleasure. We just have to let go the fear of losing, fear of things that won’t happen and that will lessen our insecurity.

Let us just learn from each distinctive experience and person. As at the end of the day, we learn to live and we live to learn


Transformation – An Inevitable Journey

( Writer’s note : Edited by Abha Mehra)

Apart from breathing, do you know what is an inevitable part of a person’s life? Transformation.

Transformation is a journey; from lacking the ability to comprehend your needs to having a clear picture of your aspirations and wants.  It is the capability of understanding the consequences of every decision you make.

Transformation is the journey of knowing yourself better. It is that gradual process of  making peace with your conscience and soul.

I, just like many others, believe that everything happens for a reason and we are responsible for the things that happen around us. Having said that, it is fair to say that the courage to own up and to take that responsibility is transformation. In a rather complacently ignorant world, taking an initiative to make this world a better place to live is transformation. Creating and existing in a world where there is equality, respect and love, well that is transformation.

Being capable of forgiveness; living for your passion; mustering the courage to raise voice against injustice– all of that attributes to transformation. Finding out the right direction is transformation. Change is transformation. Having an individual identity is transformation.

Our life revolves around and evolves with this vague term “transformation”.

I am safely assuming that I have left you with a question, i.e. “How do we feel the transformation from within?” All I can say is that the change you feel when you look deep in your soul, that is a fragment of transformation. By the changes in ourselves, we can realize it. When we start questioning the validity of our demands, the feasibility of our needs, we are transforming.

When we realize that our deeds are selfless, and mind you, selfless in its true sense, we begin to transform.

Very often,  I tend to speculate that progress is synonymous to transformation.
Every individual has their own sense of change, their own process of evolving and their own definition of transformation.

We have always emphasized on the word transformation when it is related to our comfort zone in our daily lives. We switched to cellular phones from landlines. Now, we are using smart phones. Fire stoves were replaced by gas stoves and today gas stoves are being replaced by electric stoves. Adapting to the technology is transformation.

Capitalism is transformation. Objectivity is transformation. Youth is transformation. We are transformation.

This particular word co-exists with each and every aspect of the element of life around us. It directs us to almost every activity that takes place is in this world.

Nature allows no vacuum. Even, nature is transforming with its own essence.

A life led without transformation is the life of a slave living in confinements.

Transformation is the journey of the human race from a primitive animal to being a social one. The transformation is the journey of a child to being an adolescent to an adult to an aged person and finally sealing it with death. If you believe in resurrection, the rebirth of our soul is transformation.

Transformation is a journey, a feeling, an experience, a satisfaction in its true essence.

It is a vicious cycle. Never ending, never pausing.