A eulogy to you my best friend

I never ever thought that this time will come this early. How can you just leave me too early? I was still dreaming of having a house of 3 stories where we 3 will live together. I am numb. I wish I was there with you in the heaven where we would be eating sub together.

The doors of the subway will always miss your presence. The fight to eat between veg and non-veg and you telling me that today is a Tuesday. How can you eat egg and cheese on Tuesday? The movie theatres will be just like one dark room. With whom, bestfriendI will all those samosas and cheese popcorn best friend

Dear, best friend do not leave me midway. There is alot we have to do. Who will laugh on my articles on. With whom I will talk about every girl I use to stalk on instagram. Who will say that it does not matter how many dates I go, I will have only one bhabhi. Your absence feels like one part of the heart is missng.

With whom I will cherish all those funny tuitions and school memories. Do you remember how we use run for our physics tuitions on my activa. I still wonder how we were able to sit together on one vehicle. To whom I will tease by asking what is the integration of ‘x’. Do you remember the time I use to come to teach you and then we use to have italian pizza and cheese roll.

How will I face your mom and tell I am doing masters. I want to convert your lie to truth. I also want to do a diploma and get detained with you. How will I forget all those memories where I use to scold you and you, you use to laugh on that. Who will give galis to me the way you use to do.

To whom will I ask, “Dost, su chale che jeewan ma?” and you use to say,”bas kai nai tanhaayi.” “Dost tanhaayi jode jeewani adat aje mare padvi padse.”

Do you remember that kinectic Zing ride. How we use to drive that with our legs on the shreyas overbridge. I know you do not read my writings that is why I am telling you that my grammar is not good. So somewhere if you reading this, please laugh on me. Okay?

You know I was so glad when you come to see my performace. I felt a different level of satisfaction. I know you hate me for working with aasmaan but the way you gave donated for lets go shopping is beyond something I can never do. Where will I give my birthday parties? Who will give me so good birthday gifts? Now, whose birthday party I will miss. For whom I will bring that cheap dangee dums cakes.

Who will cater on my marriage. Who will disconnect my phones now and fight with me for not meeting me. The late night navratri movies. The bike rides with me sitting behind you and my hands on your shoulders.

There is no way I can survive with you my friend. I feel short of words today and my tears are in the form of blood flowing through my eyes. I wish I can fight death but I cannot.

You know I am so proud of you that at this age you made you dream come true. I never ever thought you would open two resturant in to consecutive years. I am so so proud of you.

Whereever you are, just have fun okay and do not forget me. I love you my best friend.  May your soul rest in peace.


Dakota – Final Episode

Frosty Snowman, “You idiot, never change. Be unapologetic for the things where you are not wrong. Love yourself. Love me at times. Laugh a little more. Never cry. Spread love. Never forget me. Make this world a better place to live in.”

If you missed the first part of the open letter. Go to Dakota – Episode 5

An open letter to you, Miss Shah

Hey you,

Your words leave a powerful impact and they are reflected in one or the other way in my articles or preachings. I know I always write philosophy and things which sound boring to you. But, you know I once used your preaching in my article and gave that thing a voice through my words. It was by far my most viewed article and my personal favourite. However, quoting that again below. Have a look at it and realise how good you are.

Someone once told me, “Forget everything and go on a break. Take your car, go for a drive. Spend a little quality time in the lap of nature, have a beer maybe, and just absorb the beauty of your life. The more you connect with yourself, the better life becomes. Remember that delusions are temporary, but conscience is undying. Do not let it die. Do not die several times before you die.”

You know in this journey with you, I find that you have a very innocent heart. No matter, how hard you are but from inside you are just a 6-year old baby. I, at times just think that how different an individual can be.

We do share an amazing relation and every successful relation comes with a price. You paid a price of compromising and at times even letting go. Today, I take this opportunity and apologise you for every time I hurt you. I am really sorry for the times I made you wait and I am sorry for the times I cancelled our meeting. Adding to it, I will like to say I am sorry for the time when I lost my faith and disconnected with you.

Again, I will love to thank you for the times you stayed behind me. I am not really good with expressing emotions and things I feel. In spite of it, thankyou for understanding those unsaid words. Thankyou for not judging for the things I do and understanding me. I am really out of words for now but trust me my eyes have tears while writing you this.

I really do not know whether we will be like this forever as I do not believe in that word. However, till the time I am with you, I promise you that I will not let you fall. Never stop treating me with such amazing food and good Kishore Kumar songs.

Kavisha Shah, there is one wish and the wish to travel with you at least once. I think that can one of the best thing that can happen to us.

Frosty Snowman, “You idiot, never change. Be unapologetic for the things where you are not wrong. Love yourself. Love me at times. Laugh a little more. Never cry. Spread love. Never forget me. Make this world a better place to live in.”

Signing off,

Your antisocial Friend,

Vyom Desai

The end

I promise to return soon with new series of episodes of Dakota. Stay tuned.

Dakota – Episode 5

An open to letter to you, Miss shah

Hey Kavisha Shah,

How are you doing? It’s been a long time that I have met you. Actually, it’s been just 2 days but somewhere it feels like a week you know. Next Sunday is your birthday bro!!! Excited? I know you are not at all excited and that is why I am writing this letter.

Do you remember the first time we met? I wished you happy birthday one day prior to the day of your birthday and I really do not why I did such a mistake. I actually started doubting my stalking skills. I must admit that you took that thing in a very good manner or else any other person would just avoid thinking me as a creepy person. However, I know I am the one.

I am glad that we became friends and then there was no looking back. Now, coming back to present, I feel that on 26th it is my birthday. I am fucking excited and I even do not know why. I know I should be the one who can never be so happy looking you happy. Nevertheless, let me tell you why I am so happy. It is because this time I will gift you something officially. Did you understand what I mean? I mean you will not just take my any perfume or things just without asking. It will be your day frosty snowman, ask for anything and you will get it. However, do not ask for the watch you gave me.

I am writing this to you because there are a lot of things I wish to tell you. There are things of yours which inspire me a lot and there are things which I love a lot. There are many things which I might have already told you and some things that are unsaid.

I have always looked up to you when I am in any kind of problem. I must admit, I hate your way of approach but it is so right at times. It inspires me a lot that how can anyone stay so happy and jolly forgetting all her problems. I know everyone has their own sort of problems but you are someone who looks sorted. I, at times, do understand the things you are suffering from or the problems you facing. But the only reason I never tell you is because I know you will solve it in your way.

It is fascinating to see the way you overcome that. I am proud of you the way you are. My heart overwhelms with joy when I see you succeeding in the things you always wanted to do. If you ask me which was your best moment in the year of 2016. I will just say it was the moment when your research paper was selected at Oxford University. I had a tear in my eyes watching the video of your presentation. I do not admit these things because my emotions hit too hard to feel. Anyways, for a change, you look better in formals. You look like a lady, a lady carrying herself so perfectly.

You know what I always tell you there is something unusual about you. You stand out of the crowd. Have you ever thought why you stand out of the crowd? If you reading this, move your lazy ass from your bed and look at yourself in the mirror. There is a different kind of brightness on your face; the brightness unlike that of normal people. You have got the guts to tell the unsaid things. You have got the guts, to tell the truth.

I feel utmost respect for you when you achieve things which you dream of. I feel utmost respect for you when you travel so religiously. However, I miss you when you travel. Your hard work is something that inspired me to sustain in nuclear engineering. Never ever think of taking a step backwards in your life. I will be there to support you, you no.

Coming to the things which I love about you. Starting with the way you understand your family. I love the way you understand your mother and brother. I wish I will be able to do that ever.

You know I love your driving. Still, there is always the scope for improvement.I love you for the every memory you gave me. I love you for our Zindagi sessions. Anyways, there are a lot of things for which I hate you. Anyways, we will keep it for the next time.

You know Kavisha, we at a certain age of our lives start understanding the things that are good or bad for us. I learnt that in a very hard way and it took a lot of time. But in your case I remember, you have learnt it so easily and at an early age. I love the way you can talk to any people. I love the way how you feel so strong about photography. I love the way you write because even after writing for more than 3 years, I cannot really leave that impact which you leave by your simple words. And yes, I love your playlist.

Lastly, I can sense from the problems you are facing. But don’t worry child you will be good. You have me if you wish to share anything. Happy birthday, child.

Vyom Desai.

To be continued

Dakota – Episode 4

End semester exam was near and this is the only time in the year where I have the upper hand. I told her to come to the library with me so that I can help her study. She agreed to it and then the library was at its mercy.

The first day:

I am someone who studies for 12 hours straight by taking 2 small breaks. Even I do not go home for having lunch. Well, it was her first time in the library and every hour she takes me downstairs to have lunch, tea or just to sit. Instead of getting angry, I use to laugh at her that you cannot really sit for an hour.

After Few days:

The exams were coming near and I was in a mood of relaxing. Kavisha started studying regularly but in my case, I use to disturb her every hour. Either I go my office or find reasons to take her downstairs. At times, she uses to refuse and then we fight.

There is a wierd thing about libraries. When you sit down to study, your mind has thousands of cravings which you wish to fulfil at that very moment. In my case, I just crave like a middle-class person to have a cheese vada pav. But in Kavisha’s case, she wished to have Loakers. I was like, “what the fuck is loakers?”

She replied, “You better take me to the shop where I can get international chocolates.” As soon as I took her to the shop; she fucking went mad and I was just staring at the bounty very innocently. She took a pack of loakers and asked me, “You want anything? I am not going to share even a single piece of loakers with you.” I, just like an innocent kid pointed towards bounty. She was like,”I fucking knew that you will ask for bounty. Anyways, you are not going to get them.”

After requesting her a lot, she said let me think. Finally, she agreed to give me bounty on one condition that tomorrow I have to buy her loakers. That was fair enough according to her and I do not know why but I agreed to it. We went to the library and started having the chocolates sitting on the staircase. I was waiting that she will give me one but she didnt give even a single piece. After a while, I said, “BC, ek piece to aap.” She gave me three pieces and said, “Now, do not even think of asking again or else you will get one slap from me.”

On the very next day, she had come to the library pretty late. I was sitting outside and studying. She came and putting her bag on the table exclaimed, ” where is your phone? I am calling you since last 15 minutes. Anyways, chal, we got to go to take loakers.” I was like study for some time and then we will go. Arguing with her is waste of time, I tell you.

We went to the shop and took 1 loakers, 2 Nutella dip wali sticks and 2 cupcakes. However, this time we did not even care to go back to the library. We sat on the pavement outside the shop, open our packets and started eating. I hate her for taking the Nutella from my pack. She does that every time and she does that with me only.

As the days, passed, we developed a good equation. We made sure, we study, we have fun, we eat and we even play games. Even, my friends loved her and she got involved equally. I tell you Kavisha Shah, you have got an amazing mind. You just need to push yourselves a little. You will create wonders.

Picture Of The Day – 2

You made me go through the times when I used to play with my brother Well done writer..


Remember those days? Days were simple, weren’t they?

Do you miss that one person with whom you’ve grown old? Your sibling? Your cousin?

Called them lately? Shared a secret with them in past 2 months? Argued with them over your clothes or TV remote?

Damn fights we used to pick, didn’t we? Apparently, s/he were the only partner in crime we had.

Recently, I had called this long lost cousin of mine staying in another city. Though we just talked for 2.5 minutes but then it felt good. It felt like, yes he is still there. He has got my back for all the mischief I do. And I’m always there to cover him for all the stuff.

Such a beautiful bond is shared. I re-lived the childhood today itself over the call. That’s why I’m telling you as well, think of calling your side-kick today. The smile on your…

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Dakota – Episode 3

Meanwhile, in all those serious conversations, we really forgot to watch the people around us. There was a typical couple who was intentionally too busy in making noise. For me, that was just little annoying, but for Kavisha Shah, it was like someone entering her territorial boundary. She turned her face towards them with her big scary eyes and polite voice she said, “Can you please lower your noise pollution.” Well, there was a kind of order hidden in her polite voice. I do not mind it unless it gives me enough entertainment.

Her words printed a very strong impression on my mind. Moreover, it made me realize the amount of ego and frustration I have in me.

At times, there were days when we use to meet daily as for us it is a mandatory thing and at times days coming when we cannot meet because anyone from us is busy. In most of the cases, I was always the one.

There came a phase in my life where I saw I hardly any have any friends left. Either they went to the States or some other countries and some of them were left behind due to work commitments. This thing was enough to give me a hint, a hint of fear. Due to that fear, my insecurity of losing the one I have increased. It was nothing to do with the trust. It was a problem with my mind which I got to solve.

Meanwhile, even Kavisha’s brother was suffering from dengue. She gave a call that I am going to the hospital and after that, we will sit for some time outside CCD. Cafe Coffee Day on IIM Road is generally where we sit and do all kinds of gossip or talk deep shit. Well, for a change she picked me up and we went to the hospital. She met her brother, took her Kurtis and we were heading to CCD.

The thing was, this insecurity was eating my head and it has been a long time since I know her and somewhere a very short time that we actually developed such a good relation. In my head, I had this confusion that whether I should tell her about my insecurity or not? Will she feel bad or will she think that I do not trust her? All these questions were testing my patience and that made my mind run in a very different direction.

On our way, we were gossiping about school and college incidents when she just said, “AREYYY!! Swapna is bae.” My sense lost its control and I asked her directly, “Kavisha, where do I stand on your priority list.”

Initially, she didn’t get what I asked. Her expression of confusion was clearly visible on her face. Meanwhile, we reached CCD. Now, let me tell you we are the most useless people one can ever meet. We just go to CCD, order a mineral water bottle at times and sit for hours.

Gathering some strength I told her that I will elaborate what I said just now. The thing is, “Look, child, I just want to know where I stand on your priority list. I know this is not the kind of question I should ask but for me at this point in time, it is very important. I am getting this feeling of insecurity as I feel I have lost my friends to quite an extent. I do not have the strength to lose even one more friend of mine. The reason behind this is I feel emotions and things very deeply; and you are someone who means a lot to me. I feel lucky to be sitting with you here and I will love to do so as long as we are here in the same city. The sole reason that I am asking you is because you have a very good social life to which mine is nothing. There are high chances that we are not on the same page and that is totally okay. I am asking it because I do not form unnecessary expectations from you.”

I thought she will get angry at me and even might be a little disappointed. However, what she said me; make me love her more even today.

She told me, “Look Vyom, I know you and understand you. I can empathize with your insecurity. I won’t say it is justified but never keep anything in your mind. You do mean a lot Vyom. If I was to set a benchmark or line of distinction for my friends, you will always be above that line. You are just like Kashish and Manushi. In fact, I always prefer to spend time with you and not with them. You see something in me which they do not see.”

I was just staring at her blankly and that annoyed her. She waved in front of my eyes and asked,” OYEE BC!! Does that make sense to you?”

I was satisfied and the insecurity got reduced to quite an extent. I apologized for the same and even today KAVISHA, when you are reading thing, I wish to tell you sorry once again. It does sound bad no?

I will not say thank you for understanding, instead I will say I wish someday one day I can be as understanding as you at least in some matters.

To be continued


Dakota – Episode 2

The entire evening was so well spent till the time she said, I will drive and then again I went speechless. I very quietly gave her the keys and fasten my seat belt.  We went home listening to Kishore Kumar songs and even singing it. People, let me tell you we are very big Kishore Kumar fans and we make sure we hear his songs very sincerely.

I share a very simple equation with her. The equation is like if  I do not meet her for few days, she manages to shout at me very peacefully and with all rights. However, if she doesn’t, I feel something is wrong with her.

After few days, I called up and she was about to shout. But listening to my voice she asked politely, “what happened? Are you good?” I was like, “Fucker!!! I am all good. It is just that it has been quite a time that I have seen you.( it was just 2 days)”

She like no other foodie, “See you tomorrow at Gulbai Tekra wala Varietea. We will have Oglio Olio pasta. Now fuck off.”

The following day when we were sitting and discussing that are there any chances that we will find someone? I do not how but that talk lead to the topic of our parents. I do not why I got a bit frustrated telling that I wish my parents could have broken that wall of silence with me. If that would have happened I would spend more time with them.

Very curiously she asked me Vyom,” Have you ever tried talking to them.” I have never tried but somewhere I was not ready to accept that fact. I replied, ” I try, but they do not really take any interest in my talks about nuclear engineering.

She replied, ” Child, do not lie. There is already a lot you are keeping inside. Share it.” Her deep dark brown eyes were not having an inch of sympathy but a sense of care. It gave me a feeling of peace and comfort. It was the kind of comfort that I was always seeking.

I took a deep breath and started speaking. The pasta and garlic lovers pizza was also listening with patience.

” I feel like I am stranger in my house. I agree to the fact that my father gave me all the things that I wished for. I agree that he always made sure I live my life very comfortably. But you know what sometimes it is not the things that I wish for. There was no one to ask me that how much you studied. yes, they always supported me when I got very less result. There was no one to guide me when I was in problem. There was no ray of light when I was alone. Today whatever I am, good or bad, it is because what life made me. I do not object the time restriction they put but yes I do object the way they look at things.  I am tired of staying alone. I am tired of fighting alone. I see my father in tension many a times but he does not share. He should, I am grown now. When I go home, I feel depressed. There is nothing going right. There are thousands of unsaid words and feelings. How do I break this silence?”

Like any good listener, she heard me very patiently and just replied, ” Have you ever tried to break the silence? Have you ever tried talking to them? Have you ever made them realise that you care about them like they always do?”

I was not having answers to any of those questions. Taking a bite of pizza she said, ” It is not your fault Vyom. At times, all you need is someone to make you see the things more clearly by eliminating the cloud of misconceptions that you have in your mind.”

Hearing this I burst into tears. There was a moment of silence. I hardly cry in front of someone. Nevertheless, at that point in time, I felt like a baby crying in front of her mother. There was no fear that she will judge me. It was just fucking peaceful.

Taking another bite of pizza she said,” It’s okay to cry. You needed it and I will always be there when you feel like sharing. I hope that you will try sharing things with them and if not you will just sit with them. It is just that somewhere you lack and somewhere even parents do. It is on us, how we tackle it.”


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Yaar Kavisha, tu toh badi ho gai yaar. 


All I could say after that long session was, ” Kavisha, you are a grown up now. When did that happen?” Probably, that was the first time, I saw this side of her. All I know was a jolly Kavisha who loves adventure, partying and stuff. However, the other side of her was fascinating and just like the silent water flowing on its own path to merge into sea.

The noon was well spent and I was so happy that I paid all the bill. She hugged me and I was back to my office. However, this episode was too intense no? There were some funny moments and to witness it, wait for the next episode.

to be continued…



Dakota – Episode 1

“I will reach around 2:30 at PVR. See you directly over there.”, saying this I disconnected the phone. I precisely remember that within 5 seconds I got a callback. As soon as I picked up the call, she shouted, ” Pick me from home and go and don’t even think of directly reaching to PVR.”  I was like okay, why will I mind that.

Now you know what happens is like when we are going to a movie, she is always on time and in general, there is a pattern of her to come late depending on the time zone. However, after that, she manages to be so sweet and say sorry in such a way that your mind says, ” bc now you cannot do anything.” Coming back to the matter, for a change I was late and as usual, I was out of balance. As soon as I reach her home she was just standing out. She was dressed in sand colour printed floral kurta and black leggings. I, like any other creep, greeted her with a huge smile.

She sat in the car and promptly waited till I get out of her society. I think that was my safe zone. As soon as we reached out of her society, she turned towards me and shouted, ” are you mad?

She shouted, “chodu, tane bhan nathi padti movie no show che? (Don’t you realise we have a movie show?)”

I was like, ” I am never late, it just happened because I was busy.” In my mind, I was like good job Vyom.

She replied even better, “Stop the car and let me drive.”

I can see myself losing. I very quietly gave her the car. She smiled and I breathed once again. She sat on the driver’s seat, adjusting the driver’s seat and cuddling the steering wheel and asking my car that did it miss her?  There are two things about her, one is I like her driving and second is, never come across her car when she is driving. The only reason is either you have to give her side or else the one sitting with her will have to bear her  impatience and that’s me.

With a puppy face, I said ,” You look very pretty.”

She laughed and replied,” Pyom, if I won’t get angry on you then on whom will I get angry.  haqq che maro (it’s my right)”

Meanwhile, we reached the theatre and by god’s mercy, we reached on time. We went to watch M.S. Dhoni- the untold story. Being a Dhoni fan, I thought nothing was untold in the story. However, the moment I was about to speak that, she took my piece of samosa. What next then? The entire movie I watched with a straight face and felt helpless about it. However, she got a cheese popcorn and even shared. At times, she is kind.

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She loved the movie, that means if I am going to speak anything against it, I am done. However, let me be a little serious, I enjoyed a lot. That making fun of people or teasing that actually made no sense also seemed logical. The entire evening was so well spent till the time she said, I will drive and then…

To be continued…

Episode 2: Probably it will be on how she supported me through all the hard times.






I know the title may sound weird and abrupt to you. Looking at the title one may not be able to relate it.The meaning of this word is someone who has been mostly very kind to people and hasn’t be given the fairest chances. The person who is caring, sweet and notices all the good things in people and makes them feel comfortable to be themselves. A dakota is some who is loved by everyone but maybe not always for the ways wanted.

It is the story of friendship. It is the story of a girl named Kavisha Shah whom I very accidently met two years ago. A story of a journey with a person who acts like a mother and is totally opposite to dakota when with me.

I have to admit that she is beautiful. She is kind, caring and sweet with every person in the world except me.  She notices all the good things in people and she also manages to notices all the bad things in me. The last time she appreciated me was before 7 months if I precisely remember.However, she manages me to feel comfortable. She listens to all my cries, all my complaints and never judges me for any shit I do. She is loved by everyone, but there is a different equation between us. She hates me and I hate her. We fight, but at the end of the day, I need her. You know why? I need her because I can blame her for my problems and we can fight again.

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Dakota is the journey which will take you in the world where you dreamt of doing all those crazy things with one the best person of your life. We are often mistaken as a couple and we give major friendship goals to people is what the kind people of the world say. Nevertheless, get ready to read the story of an unconventional bond and relation I share with Kavisha, A journey of ups and downs, happiness and sadness, myths and reality.

Episode 1 coming soon.

Abha Mehra – Someone with whom I shared my soul

Abha… Hello!!!

I know I wrote a lot on you or lots of on you but you know it is never enough. You are my source of inspiration, my motivation, my support system and my go to person. How I still remember that day when you came for aasmaan interview. Ooooo…that black kurta and jeans made you look very different from the crowd. I know I will never stop being creepy my friend.

Anyways, I will tell you today why I had all my attention on you when you came for the interview. There is something we call in our language as a personality but I feel more than your personality vibes matter. The moment you entered the room, the atmosphere was pretty different. You had that quality of a strong woman. A woman who lives on her term. I wished I can take,e your interview. Nevermind, in the end, it was nice working with you, Miss Mehra.

As you say we clicked the very moment we met. Well, I would say I felt the sense of belongingness during the LGS after party. However, this was just the beginning and then mind mosaic happened. It was the journey for me being the writer. Moreover, it was the journey for me to know you better.

The more I started to know you, the more I started to respect you. You know why? It is because of the qualities you have. You made sure to take interest in my life and listen to my problems. You made sure I am okay. You made sure you won’t do the things I do not like. I mean how do you manage to remember everything. I can see that sort of apnapan when you take care of small things. I appreciate the fact Abha, when you say this is maggie, is less spicy or eat something that is in your budget and jena thi pet bharai.

When I talk about memories, how would I mention each and every memory I have with you. However, I can never forget our long conversations and at times the talks which made my eyes a little teary. How can I not get angry on the screenshots of the photos you took from my phone. How can I not laugh on the reading your facebook messages? Well, there is a long list.

Moving ahead Abha, today I want to take a minute out of my life and tell you I am sorry. I am sorry for everytime I said something wrong intentionally or unintentionally. I promise you I will try not to repeat any mistakes.

Today, I want to take a minute out of my life to thank you for everything. Thank you, Canva ninja for editing all my articles with utmost peace. Thank you, for teaching me and making me a better person compatible to the world. Thank you for loving me enough. Thank you for understanding and respecting my principles. Thank you, for giving me treat everytime when I was out of money. Thank you so much for being my best friend. Thank you for making me a writer.

I promise you Abha, I will never ever leave you. I promise you to love you enough till the time I am here. I promise you that I will hear all your long talks, complaints, problems, happiness and will make sure you stay happy.

There is one dream now, and the dream is to see you successful one day. The dream is to see you climbing the stairs of success while I am standing down waving at you. The dream is to take a moment out of my life with utmost pride by telling everyone that you are my best friend.

Happy Birthday MISS ABHA MEHRA. Let us celebrate your birthday and make it a memorable one. I love you to the moon and back.