Dakota – Episode 2

The entire evening was so well spent till the time she said, I will drive and then again I went speechless. I very quietly gave her the keys and fasten my seat belt.  We went home listening to Kishore Kumar songs and even singing it. People, let me tell you we are very big Kishore Kumar fans and we make sure we hear his songs very sincerely.

I share a very simple equation with her. The equation is like if  I do not meet her for few days, she manages to shout at me very peacefully and with all rights. However, if she doesn’t, I feel something is wrong with her.

After few days, I called up and she was about to shout. But listening to my voice she asked politely, “what happened? Are you good?” I was like, “Fucker!!! I am all good. It is just that it has been quite a time that I have seen you.( it was just 2 days)”

She like no other foodie, “See you tomorrow at Gulbai Tekra wala Varietea. We will have Oglio Olio pasta. Now fuck off.”

The following day when we were sitting and discussing that are there any chances that we will find someone? I do not how but that talk lead to the topic of our parents. I do not why I got a bit frustrated telling that I wish my parents could have broken that wall of silence with me. If that would have happened I would spend more time with them.

Very curiously she asked me Vyom,” Have you ever tried talking to them.” I have never tried but somewhere I was not ready to accept that fact. I replied, ” I try, but they do not really take any interest in my talks about nuclear engineering.

She replied, ” Child, do not lie. There is already a lot you are keeping inside. Share it.” Her deep dark brown eyes were not having an inch of sympathy but a sense of care. It gave me a feeling of peace and comfort. It was the kind of comfort that I was always seeking.

I took a deep breath and started speaking. The pasta and garlic lovers pizza was also listening with patience.

” I feel like I am stranger in my house. I agree to the fact that my father gave me all the things that I wished for. I agree that he always made sure I live my life very comfortably. But you know what sometimes it is not the things that I wish for. There was no one to ask me that how much you studied. yes, they always supported me when I got very less result. There was no one to guide me when I was in problem. There was no ray of light when I was alone. Today whatever I am, good or bad, it is because what life made me. I do not object the time restriction they put but yes I do object the way they look at things.  I am tired of staying alone. I am tired of fighting alone. I see my father in tension many a times but he does not share. He should, I am grown now. When I go home, I feel depressed. There is nothing going right. There are thousands of unsaid words and feelings. How do I break this silence?”

Like any good listener, she heard me very patiently and just replied, ” Have you ever tried to break the silence? Have you ever tried talking to them? Have you ever made them realise that you care about them like they always do?”

I was not having answers to any of those questions. Taking a bite of pizza she said, ” It is not your fault Vyom. At times, all you need is someone to make you see the things more clearly by eliminating the cloud of misconceptions that you have in your mind.”

Hearing this I burst into tears. There was a moment of silence. I hardly cry in front of someone. Nevertheless, at that point in time, I felt like a baby crying in front of her mother. There was no fear that she will judge me. It was just fucking peaceful.

Taking another bite of pizza she said,” It’s okay to cry. You needed it and I will always be there when you feel like sharing. I hope that you will try sharing things with them and if not you will just sit with them. It is just that somewhere you lack and somewhere even parents do. It is on us, how we tackle it.”

 

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Yaar Kavisha, tu toh badi ho gai yaar. 

 

All I could say after that long session was, ” Kavisha, you are a grown up now. When did that happen?” Probably, that was the first time, I saw this side of her. All I know was a jolly Kavisha who loves adventure, partying and stuff. However, the other side of her was fascinating and just like the silent water flowing on its own path to merge into sea.

The noon was well spent and I was so happy that I paid all the bill. She hugged me and I was back to my office. However, this episode was too intense no? There were some funny moments and to witness it, wait for the next episode.

to be continued…

 

 

Dakota – Episode 1

“I will reach around 2:30 at PVR. See you directly over there.”, saying this I disconnected the phone. I precisely remember that within 5 seconds I got a callback. As soon as I picked up the call, she shouted, ” Pick me from home and go and don’t even think of directly reaching to PVR.”  I was like okay, why will I mind that.

Now you know what happens is like when we are going to a movie, she is always on time and in general, there is a pattern of her to come late depending on the time zone. However, after that, she manages to be so sweet and say sorry in such a way that your mind says, ” bc now you cannot do anything.” Coming back to the matter, for a change I was late and as usual, I was out of balance. As soon as I reach her home she was just standing out. She was dressed in sand colour printed floral kurta and black leggings. I, like any other creep, greeted her with a huge smile.

She sat in the car and promptly waited till I get out of her society. I think that was my safe zone. As soon as we reached out of her society, she turned towards me and shouted, ” are you mad?

She shouted, “chodu, tane bhan nathi padti movie no show che? (Don’t you realise we have a movie show?)”

I was like, ” I am never late, it just happened because I was busy.” In my mind, I was like good job Vyom.

She replied even better, “Stop the car and let me drive.”

I can see myself losing. I very quietly gave her the car. She smiled and I breathed once again. She sat on the driver’s seat, adjusting the driver’s seat and cuddling the steering wheel and asking my car that did it miss her?  There are two things about her, one is I like her driving and second is, never come across her car when she is driving. The only reason is either you have to give her side or else the one sitting with her will have to bear her  impatience and that’s me.

With a puppy face, I said ,” You look very pretty.”

She laughed and replied,” Pyom, if I won’t get angry on you then on whom will I get angry.  haqq che maro (it’s my right)”

Meanwhile, we reached the theatre and by god’s mercy, we reached on time. We went to watch M.S. Dhoni- the untold story. Being a Dhoni fan, I thought nothing was untold in the story. However, the moment I was about to speak that, she took my piece of samosa. What next then? The entire movie I watched with a straight face and felt helpless about it. However, she got a cheese popcorn and even shared. At times, she is kind.

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She loved the movie, that means if I am going to speak anything against it, I am done. However, let me be a little serious, I enjoyed a lot. That making fun of people or teasing that actually made no sense also seemed logical. The entire evening was so well spent till the time she said, I will drive and then…

To be continued…

Episode 2: Probably it will be on how she supported me through all the hard times.

 

 

 

Dakota

Introduction

I know the title may sound weird and abrupt to you. Looking at the title one may not be able to relate it.The meaning of this word is someone who has been mostly very kind to people and hasn’t be given the fairest chances. The person who is caring, sweet and notices all the good things in people and makes them feel comfortable to be themselves. A dakota is some who is loved by everyone but maybe not always for the ways wanted.

It is the story of friendship. It is the story of a girl named Kavisha Shah whom I very accidently met two years ago. A story of a journey with a person who acts like a mother and is totally opposite to dakota when with me.

I have to admit that she is beautiful. She is kind, caring and sweet with every person in the world except me.  She notices all the good things in people and she also manages to notices all the bad things in me. The last time she appreciated me was before 7 months if I precisely remember.However, she manages me to feel comfortable. She listens to all my cries, all my complaints and never judges me for any shit I do. She is loved by everyone, but there is a different equation between us. She hates me and I hate her. We fight, but at the end of the day, I need her. You know why? I need her because I can blame her for my problems and we can fight again.

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Dakota is the journey which will take you in the world where you dreamt of doing all those crazy things with one the best person of your life. We are often mistaken as a couple and we give major friendship goals to people is what the kind people of the world say. Nevertheless, get ready to read the story of an unconventional bond and relation I share with Kavisha, A journey of ups and downs, happiness and sadness, myths and reality.

Episode 1 coming soon.

Abha Mehra – Someone with whom I shared my soul

Abha… Hello!!!

I know I wrote a lot on you or lots of on you but you know it is never enough. You are my source of inspiration, my motivation, my support system and my go to person. How I still remember that day when you came for aasmaan interview. Ooooo…that black kurta and jeans made you look very different from the crowd. I know I will never stop being creepy my friend.

Anyways, I will tell you today why I had all my attention on you when you came for the interview. There is something we call in our language as a personality but I feel more than your personality vibes matter. The moment you entered the room, the atmosphere was pretty different. You had that quality of a strong woman. A woman who lives on her term. I wished I can take,e your interview. Nevermind, in the end, it was nice working with you, Miss Mehra.

As you say we clicked the very moment we met. Well, I would say I felt the sense of belongingness during the LGS after party. However, this was just the beginning and then mind mosaic happened. It was the journey for me being the writer. Moreover, it was the journey for me to know you better.

The more I started to know you, the more I started to respect you. You know why? It is because of the qualities you have. You made sure to take interest in my life and listen to my problems. You made sure I am okay. You made sure you won’t do the things I do not like. I mean how do you manage to remember everything. I can see that sort of apnapan when you take care of small things. I appreciate the fact Abha, when you say this is maggie, is less spicy or eat something that is in your budget and jena thi pet bharai.

When I talk about memories, how would I mention each and every memory I have with you. However, I can never forget our long conversations and at times the talks which made my eyes a little teary. How can I not get angry on the screenshots of the photos you took from my phone. How can I not laugh on the reading your facebook messages? Well, there is a long list.

Moving ahead Abha, today I want to take a minute out of my life and tell you I am sorry. I am sorry for everytime I said something wrong intentionally or unintentionally. I promise you I will try not to repeat any mistakes.

Today, I want to take a minute out of my life to thank you for everything. Thank you, Canva ninja for editing all my articles with utmost peace. Thank you, for teaching me and making me a better person compatible to the world. Thank you for loving me enough. Thank you for understanding and respecting my principles. Thank you, for giving me treat everytime when I was out of money. Thank you so much for being my best friend. Thank you for making me a writer.

I promise you Abha, I will never ever leave you. I promise you to love you enough till the time I am here. I promise you that I will hear all your long talks, complaints, problems, happiness and will make sure you stay happy.

There is one dream now, and the dream is to see you successful one day. The dream is to see you climbing the stairs of success while I am standing down waving at you. The dream is to take a moment out of my life with utmost pride by telling everyone that you are my best friend.

Happy Birthday MISS ABHA MEHRA. Let us celebrate your birthday and make it a memorable one. I love you to the moon and back.

The man who inspires in his own beautiful way

This is no big article about who inspired me and made me who I am. But today, I feel so good that there are some people who have that charisma. They come, stay with you and somewhere inspire you. You know what is the most beautiful part of this entire thing, they event do not when they inspired you.

I met him, do not ask who he is. He is just like us, a guy as normal as you and me. I met him one year ago when I started working as a resident writer for one magazine. I was not able to form any specific impression about him during our first meeting. The only thing I could make out is he never hesitates in making fun of any person no matter he knows him or not. He is a guy with greenish grey eyes who loves his hair and makes sure they are up to the point. He is a superhero and tech geek, well not so deadly combination I guess.

Slowly slowly,  figure out I was totally opposite to him. He sings those not so known English songs very loudly which was very irritating to me. He does all those not so funny faces that you feel like slapping him. Moreover, he makes sure he repeats it again and again if you tell him to stop. But, there was something unusual about him. There is something in him which makes you feel so comfortable talking to him. He has that secrets power to make any person laugh by his not so funny techniques.

This inspires me. It does inspire me a lot that how can a person make you smile just like that. How can he do it so easily? Is that possible? One thing common between us was we love working. What makes me respect him is the way he does it. He has that sort of quality to work with near perfection. The thing that inspired me is you get to learn something no matter if we fail or work is too small. This is what I learnt from him.

You may wonder that what is it that is so unique about him in it? We as a human being have all sorts of frustration, anger, sadness and happiness. He also has it but it is on the way how you control it. Yes, at times he gets angry but it been a year and I can bet my life on it if I have ever seen him sad. I never heard any complaints about his life. I never saw him sharing the pain or problems. He contains it and this inspires me. I wish I could ever do this. I really wish.

Today, he is my one of closest friends. However, I would say that I respect him more than I love him. Many reasons are there but some other time.

 

 

I belong here… I belong to Lutalica

You know what?

Today, I wish to confess the most indeed beautiful moments of my life which helped me to become a writer and a part of a wonderful magazine named Lutalica. For others, it is a place where they can find articles to which they can relate. However, for me, it is place who gave me the identity of being a writer.

There comes a time in our life when we feel the need to share or express things so that we can feel our existence. For me, it was nothing different. I was at a stage where I badly wish to share things. I was suffocating inside as I felt a part of my identity refuses to fit into categories.I always felt that there is something more important than living your life is knowing the philosophy of it. However, there was no one to listen to it.

What happens if you fill the water in a bottle beyond its limit? It overflows right. Similarly, in my case, it started getting accumulated inside my heart, then my mind and in the end, there was no room for it to expand. I found no place where I can express myself.

Therefore before a year and a half, I started my blog. However, I never knew that it will end up in a disaster. There was no constructive criticism, there were no good debates about my content. All I faced was some known as well as unknown people either making fun of it or laughing on the way I write. I am someone who is always open to constructive criticism but at that moment I was sinking into depression. I was wondering whether I should continue writing or not? I started doubting my philosophies and my way of living. I started doubting myself.

One fine day, Abha called me and told me to meet her. When I went to meet her, she asked me, “Do you want to write for a magazine which I am planning to launch?” At that moment, I did not know what to answer as I always heard that I suck at my content and philosophy. I said yes to her. However, at that moment I was not able to gather enough strength to ask her that why she wants me to work for her.

This is how Lutalica happened to me. Lutalica gave identity to that part of mine, which do not fit into specific categories. It gave voice to my opinions, philosophy and respected me enough to tell the world proudly that yes, I am a writer. However, does it end here? No, when it comes to writing, whatever I learnt is because I got one chance to express myself. I got a platform where the people do not judge words and the idea to expressed are respected.

The foremost thing it taught me is when you write, write it for yourself. How can you give justice to your article when you are not satisfied with it. Yes, there were times when my article didn’t work. There were and there are times when they are so grammatically wrong. However, I was taught everything without and with criticism.

It has been more than 8 months that I am working for Lutalica as a part of the core committee member, but it seems like I have been associated with them since forever. We are not only great friends, but we are a family. Even, if one of us fall, there are four to hold you back. Somewhere, just telling one yes changed some of the major aspects of my life.

I have seen Lutalica growing and I have seen my dream of performing my work coming true because of Lutalica. I feel so proud to say yes, I am part of the organising team of Lutalica’s event. Well, now I am short of words.

Lastly, I just wish to say, I belong to a place where you do not need to fit in. I say I belong to a place where you can express and bring your soul to peace. I belong to Lutalica.

 

Abrupt and weird

Okay, see it may seem very abrupt and weird. You know there is something with me.
I have lots of suppressed feelings of not so important problems but they are contained in it.
I am not strong to hold myself at every point of time. I fail and I hate the fact that I fail. That brings more negativity in me every time it happens.
I am suffering severe dual personality problems.
Like these days literally, I see my two personalities talking to each other. Like I know I always had but now that it is very difficult for me to maintain the stability between them.
I wonder all the time about it.
I see people in love. I feel things so strongly now that the feeling of love and the feeling to be someone special kills me inside.
I need to remind myself, again and again, I am losing my integrity.
I am losing myself.
Slowly I am drawing towards suicide. I literally go through my friend list to talk to them in spite of knowing I have friends who can die for me.
I have pending work, a lot of work actually but what I do is I keep them aside and prefer sleeping.
And again the next day I wake up, wear a smile, be there as normal as I can, I manage the integrity and night again kill myself knowing the fact. It was normal until the time it speaks with you.
Today what happens is if I tell you I fucking hate you. I need to figure out which of my personality spoke it.
That is bad, very very bad.

She did not give up.

Have you ever thought of how your words can hurt others? Do you think twice of what you speak? How can you be nice? How can one learn the art of presenting the thoughts? I never realized importance of all these things till the time I failed to express what I meant. I failed to express the feeling of love. This made me realize that even a writer fails to express the art of expression.

I am someone who always managed to hold his pride and ego above anything. However, I never realized where it lead me today. Today, I failed in expressing the things which I wish to say because my principles taught me something else. How difficult it is to find a balance between the both, one side it is your principles by which you live; second is the person whom you love and so not wish to leave. She was there waiting for me to give a second chance and I, instead of being happy just ruined by telling something which made no sense to me.

She was still sitting there waiting for me and I went away without even giving a second look. She was there to hear me and be with me all over again. She was there looking into my eyes telling me I love you and what I did was looked straight into her eyes telling I am not serious.I mislead her, I was rude to her, I somewhere made her feel insulted for loving me. However, this does not end here, after all this I expected her to be friends with ,e again. I have never thought being standing right in front of her I spoke everything that was not rude but insensitive.

She was still sitting and telling me sorry for asking as for her she thinks she ruined the friendship. How do I explain to her that it is me who is responsible for everything.

I never realized how some strong opinions and unidirectional thing can change your mind so much. I never realized to be best friends with your second personality is the worst thing you can ever do. I never realized what I did was wrong to what level. All I know today that I need to live with a lifelong of regret of hurting the one who loved me so innocently.

If this is what you call love, I wish I can die for this love again and again.

I Belong To…

I was told that India has nothing to offer you. It cannot offer you a good salary, peace, and happiness. This country will not change. I was always asked why I love INDIA so much, what makes me feel so proud of being an INDIAN. So today I just decided to pen it down that why I am proud of belonging to the land of Gods. Today my identity is due to my country. It gave me the identity of being an Indian. The proud citizen with an individual identity that this nation gave me.  The identity, which I will take with me until my last breath.
The country where emotion lives, where you explore life, where love fills up your stomach and who teaches the world the principle of EKAM.
I belong to the country who gave the world the invention of zero without which our lacs and crores would have no value. I belong to the country who considers money as the form of goddess Lakshmi. If I talk about the contribution of India in the field of education it is indispensable. The world’s first university was established in 700 BC. More than 10500 students from all over the world studied more than 60 subjects. The Buddhayana first calculated the value of PI and he explained the concept of now what is known as Pythagoras theorem. The place value system, the decimal system was developed in India since 100 BC. Yes, I belong to the nation from where the algebra, trigonometric and the concept of quadratic equations were established.
I am the citizen of the country where people with more than 200 religions stays and still each of them have their individual identity. I belong to the country who fought for their independence for more than 150 years. I belong to the nation that gave birth to leaders like Subhash Chandra Bose and Vallabhbhai Patel. I belong to a place where Swami Vivekananda was born. I belong to a realm who gave the world the great scientists like Dr. Homi Bhabha.  The country who contributed to the world in the field of science, sports, space, politics, and the technology. I belong to the nation who gave the world the sports person like Sachin Tendulkar, M.S. Dhoni, Sushil Kumar, Pankaj Advani, Kapil Dev, Sania Mirza, and Major Dhyanchand etc. India gave the games like chess and Kabaddi to the world. Talking about politics, it gave the world a political leader like Sir Bajpai, Narendra Modi, Shashi Tharoor.

Talking about architecture, when the western culture was not yet developed, we Indians developed Indus valley civilization around 5000 years ago. It is the oldest civilization in the world. Indus valley civilization is then followed by Buddhist architecture and the Indian rock-cut architecture,  Dravidian architecture, Badami chalukya architecture and yes, how can I forget the Indo-Mughal architecture or the Mughal architecture. Tajmahal is one of the eight wonders of the world. I belong to the country where the architecture was the soul of people here and known all over the world.

I belong to that land who is one of the eight countries having the nuclear power. I belong to a country where the great Chanakya was born. I feel right in the nation that has the second largest army in this world. I belong to a country who gave the world the power of yoga and who celebrates peace. I belong to the biggest democracy of the world where the richest person and the poorest person are given equal rights. I belong to motherland that successfully launched the satellite at Mars, which has the most innovative technology. The USA, the super power of today has just 3.22 Millions of Indians in the USA that is 1.5 % of total Population. YET, 38% Of Doctors in the USA are Indians. 12% Scientists In The USA Are Indians. 36% Of NASA Scientists Are Indians. 34% Of Microsoft Employees Are Indians. 28% Of IBM Employees Are Indians. 17% Of INTEL Scientists Are Indians. CEO of PEPSI, CEO of GOOGLE and CEO of Microsoft is an INDIAN, We Indians reside in each and every corner of the world and yes not to forget are contributing tremendously in every sector.
I belong to a country where every week one festival is celebrated. The country where the essence of ancient culture is still preserved and known all over the world. The country that evolved and is evolving since last 5000 years.
Yes, I belong to the future superpower of the world. I belong to India, where the people who sleep on the pavement and the person who sleeps in a palace has the same identity. The land where 60 percent of people are farmers, who manage to provide food for 1.25 hundred crore people. I belong to the land where life exists and you can feel it in your each breath.
Some Quotes that makes me feel more proud to be an INDIAN.
“We Owe a Lot to the Indians, Who Taught Us How to Count, Without Which No Worthwhile Scientific Discovery Could Have Been Made”
–Albert Einstein.

“India Is The Cradle Of The Human Race, The Birthplace Of Human Speech, The Mother Of History, The Grandmother Of Legend And The Great Grand Mother Of Tradition”

–Mark Twain.

“If There Is One Place On The Face Of Earth Where All Dreams Of Living Men Have Found A Home From The Very Earliest Days When A Man Began The Dream Of Existence, It Is India”

–French Scholar Romain Rolland.
Today it might not be the super power, but yes ancient India was the richest country in the ancient times. In addition, today instead of saying India has nothing if we pursue and understand our responsibilities India can be the superpower very soon. It is always about working to our potential and not blaming the country for our bad.
Yes, I belong to INDIA.
JAI HIND.

Introduction to Sparies

learn to breathe even without oxygen

Have you thought what would our life be without oxygen or how would we live without water? Similary, have you thought about how our life will be without word? Words express the feelings, they express the pain behind one’s conscience. However, sometimes the words that give the pain are the same words that can ponder happiness all over again.

Here I proudly say that one can find their solace in the words of some writer. For me it was the same. I find the same solace in her words. Words that bring my soul at peace and mind at rest.

She is a photographer by passion and a writer by choice. She is full of life and her words make you feel the same. When she writes it feels like she is interacting and talking with you. Go check her blog.

Link to her blog.

Sparies.wordpress.com