Dakota 2: Until the next time

Forget everything and go on a break. Take your car, go for a drive. Spend a little quality time in the lap of nature, have a beer maybe, and just absorb the beauty of your life. The more you connect with yourself, the better life becomes. Remember that delusions are temporary, but conscience is undying. Do not let it die. Do not die several times before you die.

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In case you missed the previous part of Dakota, click here.


Final Episode

#1 Khanabadosh

ab jab tum jaa rahe ho to ek baat yaad rakhna, zindagi hamesha ek safar hai aur yea sab ko katna padta hai, par kuch log ke liye safar zindagi jeena hota hai. Aur tum unme se ek ho, tumhara safar ek aisa safar hai jo rooh ke saath ka hai.

Tumhare liye safar ek safarnama hai aur tumhe zinda rakhne ki jadibutti. Ab jaa rahe ho toh naye kisse kahaniya zarur laana.

Bindu is the person who loves travelling and her every breath is meant to travel. When she travels, she lives and when she lives, her aura makes that city look very beautiful. Every time when she travels, Bubla just waits for her return to listen to her stories. The best part is she always bring some gifts for him.

#2 Sukuniyat

usko dekh kar bas ek pal men sukuniyat mil gayi.

wo sunhare chumkhe, wo badi bindi, wo nashili aankhein, nila kurta and uski budbudati hasi, aisa mano ke usko aise dekhkar ek pal mein zindagi ji li.

Ae bindu tumne to ek pal mein puri zindagi ka ehsaas dila diya, tumne toh sukuniyat ka matlab samjha dia.

Well, we humans strive for peace every single moment and Bindu is someone who can make you realise what peace looks like in one single moment. The world stops on seeing her dressed so elegantly in simple kurti matched perfectly with the Indian flavour of bindi and oxidised silver earrings and that brown coffee bean likes eyes. Her smile is the measure of absolute peace.

#3 storm

My eyes were searching for her in the crowd and as soon as my eyes manage to spor her, I noticed that she was wearing a black Kurta with those big jhumkas and her hair tied with help of the stick that looked like a polised ivory sculpture stopped my world.

She was approaching me and I was still standing, still waiting for her to come and smile.

However, suddenly my eyes opened and it was 2 am in the night. Unlike, other days the night was scary still I was shivering maybe because of losing her in my dream.

He cannot get over her jhumkhas and her hippy look. And without her Bubla’s life is like a blank page so even in his dreams he does not let Bindu be alone.

#4 Her motto

Forget everything and go on a break. Take your car, go for a drive. Spend a little quality time in the lap of nature, have a beer maybe, and just absorb the beauty of your life. The more you connect with yourself, the better life becomes. Remember that delusions are temporary, but conscience is undying. Do not let it die. Do not die several times before you die.

A line from one of Bubla’s article.

This is what Bindu told me when he was struggling to find his own way through the narrow roads of his life.

There are many more things that Bindu said and it just made him feel like what else do you need when you have a best friend. Bindu told me believe in me.

However, I was always questioned that Who am I for Bindu?

Well, I am her mother, bestfriend, wingman and bridesmaid.

We have spent the entire journey of our friendship by fighting and making sure that we blame each other for it. We abuse each other so that we can love each other. We rant together for being single and we hang out together to live in a world, the world which Bubla calls as DAKOTA.

So, live with your memories, till I meet you again with more memories of Bubla with Bindu.


Some snippets when Bindu is praising Bubla.

“I am just going for couple of days. I will be back soon child.”

“You are my wingman, chodu.”

“Fuck, this was all because of you Pyomi. If you were not there, I would definitely failed.”

“I feel satisfied to see you performing in front of the crowd.”

“You are not alone. I am here no. I am always here.”

“If we are not close still you will not let me fall. You will throw a rope in my direction and hold me with that.”

The list is too long to be written

 

The end

 

Dakota 2: Tum Ho, Yeh Mehfil Hai Aur Apne Tarane (Scene from Ahmedabad)

Bubla took her to his favourite place where he finds solace and he sits quite often. They drove to SP ring road, to that place, his place, from where one could see the entire city. The time was around 7:30 pm and the songs tuned in were Kishore Kumar’s classic.

In case you missed the previous part, click here.


Episode 4

As soon as we reach mid way she said I want to get my hair’s straightened. Just stop at the nearby Salon and go and, ask the rates no. He was giving her dead stare for a minute and at last being helpless he went to Enrich-The salon to ask for rates of hair straightening.

“Excuse what is the rate of hair straightening for girls”

The woman giving me the same dead stare and in a sarcastic tone said, “If you have the enrich voucher then it is 1500 INR or else it is 3200 INR”

Listening to that I said thank you and thought of running super fast in the direction of the car. Seeing me coming like this in a speed of flash Bindu asked me, “BC, what happened?”

Bubla: “Chutiya samaj ke rakha hai in loko ne. It is 3200 INR for your fucking hair straightening and I am no way going to pay that much. Moreover, that woman was so sarcastic as if I am a chaprasi. You always put into this uncomfortable zone. You should die.”

Hearing this Bindu started laughing as if she is enjoying the moment and said, “Vyom BUBLA Desai, just look at your face. It looks like you have just pooped in your pants.  Sit, we will go to some other place.”

Bubla: “I am not going to take you at any other salons. We will go to the salon where you usually get it done after a short drive.”

Bindu: “But I am hungry and yes, get me some cigarettes no.”

Bubla: “I know you will ask for it as you were at your home for the entire day so I bought 10 already.”

Bindu: “Aww Bubla, What will I do with out you? Where the fuck is your AUX cable? and chiiii what kind of songs do you listen.”

She has this habit of getting angry at me anytime and ordering like I am her Ramu kaka. However, I cannot refrain from denying the fact I loved it as it made me feel special in many ways.

Bubla took her to his favourite place where he finds solace and he sits quite often. They drove to SP ring road, to that place, his place, from where one could see the entire city. The time was around 7:30 pm and the songs tuned in were Kishore Kumar’s classic. They both lighted the cigarette and refrained from speaking anything. Both of them were standing near the bridge watching it progress over the years. There was some different kind of peace that he saw in her eyes and probably the kind of peace he has never seen before.

Bindu: “I love Ahmedabad.”

Bubla: “At times, me too.”

They sat there for some 20 minutes and for the first time hardly spoke anything. Then she shouted that I need to get my hair straightening done,

Bubla: “You know what, I will become a very nice boyfriend.”

Bindu: “Only, if you get one and that is not going to happen.”

Finally after a lot of abuses and pointless arguments we reached the salon which had a board named Decent.

“Are you sure he is good. Aisa na ho straightening ke naam par chutiya kaar de.”

“Fuck off and come on follow me.”

We went inside the salon which was entirely a ladies salon and he was the only man sitting apart from one who was doing her straightening. Now, here the point was her straightening would take almost 45 minutes and till then he has to sit at that place. The point was he was not having internet pack on his phone and all he could do is to watch the beautiful face of a Dayan. After a while he started enjoying the look of her face because at certain points, she felt a little pain and her expressions use to change.

Bubla, feels so good when he see Bindu in this kind of situation. He was laughing and laughing and Bindu was giving that Amitabh Bacchan look from the movie Zanjeer.

Finally, it was done and they were to leave for their home. However, he wished how if they would have stayed a little longer. However, I will never forget that 20 minutes silence as eyes spoke better than words during that time.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Rise And Fall Of A Writer – 2

Did that phase where I was rising as a writer changed me? No, I was still the same during that phase. However, being an egoistic person there was a huge boost to my ego and it motivated me to write even better. 

If you have missed the first part of The Rise And Fall Of A Writer, click here.


Meanwhile, in the midst of this process, I got addicted to my addiction to nicotine. I use to lock myself from the world so that I can write about the philosophies of living the idea of an individual being the heroic being. However, one thing I missed out on was me entering the zone from where coming out is a difficult task. I had so many things to write that I forgot to experiment.

I kept on drafting and drafting the articles on Mind Mosaic without thinking of when it will be published. I use to improve from article to article but now that when I go back to the times I see I could have improved better. Abha always gave me the feedback about what I can improve in the next article. She always made sure that I do not repeat my mistakes again. However, there were some mistakes that remained the same. The only reason for this because I drafted so many articles at once.

Slowly, I realised that I was swinging in middle of my theories in the articles and my principles on which I use to live. They were two conflicting parameters that made me trample in my journey of learning during the times of Mind Mosaic. I think I was too late in realising this mistake as I saw my alter ego parted ways with my conscience. I had to choose one way, whether to stop writing for some time or follow the philosophies I write about. I chose the latter one but here the question arises is was my decision right? What if I would have gone with the first option?

By this time, the only different article I tried was to write a movie review which focuses more on the content of the movie. That was not a very successful attempt and I again went back to my comfort zone that is philosophy. In all these chaos the one good thing that happened to me was the people around me started accepting me as a writer. The criticism turned into respect — respect for not giving up. Abha always told that your content is very niche and that is something I like about it. And I was finally seeing myself as a writer and the person who has achieved something. Though at an exponential rate but the graph of my articles was going up.

Did that phase where I was rising as a writer changed me? No, I was still the same during that phase. However, being an egoistic person there was a huge boost to my ego and it motivated me to write even better.

Meanwhile, between all these chaos my personal life continued to remain messy. I am the person who never had a stable personal life even though I had everything I wanted. In this phase, I forgot that people existed and I kept on working and smoking. Cigarettes were the only object who saw the terror while I use to write to the most vulnerable sufferings my conscience undergo in craving for love.

Why didn’t I chose to write about it? I asked these questions to myself many times. However, the only answer I got was all your write-ups are derived from the sufferings of your personal life and all your principles are the proof of why you are responsible for that sufferings. I can never thank Abha to how long she heard all of these and still having different ideology made sure I learn things in my own way, During Mind Mosaic, I found a best friend who was also the founder and younger than me. During this phase, I met some brilliant individuals with their own set of expertise in their areas. I consider myself lucky to meet Akash, Rushi and Aashna.

However, due to few reasons, Mind Mosaic failed and it came to an end. Does that make a difference?


to be continued…

 

 

 

 

 

A eulogy to you my best friend

I never ever thought that this time will come this early. How can you just leave me too early? I was still dreaming of having a house of 3 stories where we 3 will live together. I am numb. I wish I was there with you in the heaven where we would be eating sub together.

The doors of the subway will always miss your presence. The fight to eat between veg and non-veg and you telling me that today is a Tuesday. How can you eat egg and cheese on Tuesday? The movie theatres will be just like one dark room. With whom, bestfriendI will all those samosas and cheese popcorn best friend

Dear, best friend do not leave me midway. There is alot we have to do. Who will laugh on my articles on. With whom I will talk about every girl I use to stalk on instagram. Who will say that it does not matter how many dates I go, I will have only one bhabhi. Your absence feels like one part of the heart is missng.

With whom I will cherish all those funny tuitions and school memories. Do you remember how we use run for our physics tuitions on my activa. I still wonder how we were able to sit together on one vehicle. To whom I will tease by asking what is the integration of ‘x’. Do you remember the time I use to come to teach you and then we use to have italian pizza and cheese roll.

How will I face your mom and tell I am doing masters. I want to convert your lie to truth. I also want to do a diploma and get detained with you. How will I forget all those memories where I use to scold you and you, you use to laugh on that. Who will give galis to me the way you use to do.

To whom will I ask, “Dost, su chale che jeewan ma?” and you use to say,”bas kai nai tanhaayi.” “Dost tanhaayi jode jeewani adat aje mare padvi padse.”

Do you remember that kinectic Zing ride. How we use to drive that with our legs on the shreyas overbridge. I know you do not read my writings that is why I am telling you that my grammar is not good. So somewhere if you reading this, please laugh on me. Okay?

You know I was so glad when you come to see my performace. I felt a different level of satisfaction. I know you hate me for working with aasmaan but the way you gave donated for lets go shopping is beyond something I can never do. Where will I give my birthday parties? Who will give me so good birthday gifts? Now, whose birthday party I will miss. For whom I will bring that cheap dangee dums cakes.

Who will cater on my marriage. Who will disconnect my phones now and fight with me for not meeting me. The late night navratri movies. The bike rides with me sitting behind you and my hands on your shoulders.

There is no way I can survive with you my friend. I feel short of words today and my tears are in the form of blood flowing through my eyes. I wish I can fight death but I cannot.

You know I am so proud of you that at this age you made you dream come true. I never ever thought you would open two resturant in to consecutive years. I am so so proud of you.

Whereever you are, just have fun okay and do not forget me. I love you my best friend.  May your soul rest in peace.

Dakota – Final Episode

Frosty Snowman, “You idiot, never change. Be unapologetic for the things where you are not wrong. Love yourself. Love me at times. Laugh a little more. Never cry. Spread love. Never forget me. Make this world a better place to live in.”

If you missed the first part of the open letter. Go to Dakota – Episode 5


An open letter to you, Miss Shah

Hey you,

Your words leave a powerful impact and they are reflected in one or the other way in my articles or preachings. I know I always write philosophy and things which sound boring to you. But, you know I once used your preaching in my article and gave that thing a voice through my words. It was by far my most viewed article and my personal favourite. However, quoting that again below. Have a look at it and realise how good you are.

Someone once told me, “Forget everything and go on a break. Take your car, go for a drive. Spend a little quality time in the lap of nature, have a beer maybe, and just absorb the beauty of your life. The more you connect with yourself, the better life becomes. Remember that delusions are temporary, but conscience is undying. Do not let it die. Do not die several times before you die.”

You know in this journey with you, I find that you have a very innocent heart. No matter, how hard you are but from inside you are just a 6-year old baby. I, at times just think that how different an individual can be.

We do share an amazing relation and every successful relation comes with a price. You paid a price of compromising and at times even letting go. Today, I take this opportunity and apologise you for every time I hurt you. I am really sorry for the times I made you wait and I am sorry for the times I cancelled our meeting. Adding to it, I will like to say I am sorry for the time when I lost my faith and disconnected with you.

Again, I will love to thank you for the times you stayed behind me. I am not really good with expressing emotions and things I feel. In spite of it, thankyou for understanding those unsaid words. Thankyou for not judging for the things I do and understanding me. I am really out of words for now but trust me my eyes have tears while writing you this.

I really do not know whether we will be like this forever as I do not believe in that word. However, till the time I am with you, I promise you that I will not let you fall. Never stop treating me with such amazing food and good Kishore Kumar songs.

Kavisha Shah, there is one wish and the wish to travel with you at least once. I think that can one of the best thing that can happen to us.

Frosty Snowman, “You idiot, never change. Be unapologetic for the things where you are not wrong. Love yourself. Love me at times. Laugh a little more. Never cry. Spread love. Never forget me. Make this world a better place to live in.”

Signing off,

Your antisocial Friend,

Vyom Desai


The end


I promise to return soon with new series of episodes of Dakota. Stay tuned.

Dakota – Episode 5

An open to letter to you, Miss shah

Hey Kavisha Shah,

How are you doing? It’s been a long time that I have met you. Actually, it’s been just 2 days but somewhere it feels like a week you know. Next Sunday is your birthday bro!!! Excited? I know you are not at all excited and that is why I am writing this letter.

Do you remember the first time we met? I wished you happy birthday one day prior to the day of your birthday and I really do not why I did such a mistake. I actually started doubting my stalking skills. I must admit that you took that thing in a very good manner or else any other person would just avoid thinking me as a creepy person. However, I know I am the one.

I am glad that we became friends and then there was no looking back. Now, coming back to present, I feel that on 26th it is my birthday. I am fucking excited and I even do not know why. I know I should be the one who can never be so happy looking you happy. Nevertheless, let me tell you why I am so happy. It is because this time I will gift you something officially. Did you understand what I mean? I mean you will not just take my any perfume or things just without asking. It will be your day frosty snowman, ask for anything and you will get it. However, do not ask for the watch you gave me.

I am writing this to you because there are a lot of things I wish to tell you. There are things of yours which inspire me a lot and there are things which I love a lot. There are many things which I might have already told you and some things that are unsaid.

I have always looked up to you when I am in any kind of problem. I must admit, I hate your way of approach but it is so right at times. It inspires me a lot that how can anyone stay so happy and jolly forgetting all her problems. I know everyone has their own sort of problems but you are someone who looks sorted. I, at times, do understand the things you are suffering from or the problems you facing. But the only reason I never tell you is because I know you will solve it in your way.

It is fascinating to see the way you overcome that. I am proud of you the way you are. My heart overwhelms with joy when I see you succeeding in the things you always wanted to do. If you ask me which was your best moment in the year of 2016. I will just say it was the moment when your research paper was selected at Oxford University. I had a tear in my eyes watching the video of your presentation. I do not admit these things because my emotions hit too hard to feel. Anyways, for a change, you look better in formals. You look like a lady, a lady carrying herself so perfectly.

You know what I always tell you there is something unusual about you. You stand out of the crowd. Have you ever thought why you stand out of the crowd? If you reading this, move your lazy ass from your bed and look at yourself in the mirror. There is a different kind of brightness on your face; the brightness unlike that of normal people. You have got the guts to tell the unsaid things. You have got the guts, to tell the truth.

I feel utmost respect for you when you achieve things which you dream of. I feel utmost respect for you when you travel so religiously. However, I miss you when you travel. Your hard work is something that inspired me to sustain in nuclear engineering. Never ever think of taking a step backwards in your life. I will be there to support you, you no.

Coming to the things which I love about you. Starting with the way you understand your family. I love the way you understand your mother and brother. I wish I will be able to do that ever.

You know I love your driving. Still, there is always the scope for improvement.I love you for the every memory you gave me. I love you for our Zindagi sessions. Anyways, there are a lot of things for which I hate you. Anyways, we will keep it for the next time.

You know Kavisha, we at a certain age of our lives start understanding the things that are good or bad for us. I learnt that in a very hard way and it took a lot of time. But in your case I remember, you have learnt it so easily and at an early age. I love the way you can talk to any people. I love the way how you feel so strong about photography. I love the way you write because even after writing for more than 3 years, I cannot really leave that impact which you leave by your simple words. And yes, I love your playlist.

Lastly, I can sense from the problems you are facing. But don’t worry child you will be good. You have me if you wish to share anything. Happy birthday, child.

Vyom Desai.


To be continued

Dakota – Episode 3

Meanwhile, in all those serious conversations, we really forgot to watch the people around us. There was a typical couple who was intentionally too busy in making noise. For me, that was just little annoying, but for Kavisha Shah, it was like someone entering her territorial boundary. She turned her face towards them with her big scary eyes and polite voice she said, “Can you please lower your noise pollution.” Well, there was a kind of order hidden in her polite voice. I do not mind it unless it gives me enough entertainment.

Her words printed a very strong impression on my mind. Moreover, it made me realize the amount of ego and frustration I have in me.

At times, there were days when we use to meet daily as for us it is a mandatory thing and at times days coming when we cannot meet because anyone from us is busy. In most of the cases, I was always the one.

There came a phase in my life where I saw I hardly any have any friends left. Either they went to the States or some other countries and some of them were left behind due to work commitments. This thing was enough to give me a hint, a hint of fear. Due to that fear, my insecurity of losing the one I have increased. It was nothing to do with the trust. It was a problem with my mind which I got to solve.

Meanwhile, even Kavisha’s brother was suffering from dengue. She gave a call that I am going to the hospital and after that, we will sit for some time outside CCD. Cafe Coffee Day on IIM Road is generally where we sit and do all kinds of gossip or talk deep shit. Well, for a change she picked me up and we went to the hospital. She met her brother, took her Kurtis and we were heading to CCD.

The thing was, this insecurity was eating my head and it has been a long time since I know her and somewhere a very short time that we actually developed such a good relation. In my head, I had this confusion that whether I should tell her about my insecurity or not? Will she feel bad or will she think that I do not trust her? All these questions were testing my patience and that made my mind run in a very different direction.

On our way, we were gossiping about school and college incidents when she just said, “AREYYY!! Swapna is bae.” My sense lost its control and I asked her directly, “Kavisha, where do I stand on your priority list.”

Initially, she didn’t get what I asked. Her expression of confusion was clearly visible on her face. Meanwhile, we reached CCD. Now, let me tell you we are the most useless people one can ever meet. We just go to CCD, order a mineral water bottle at times and sit for hours.

Gathering some strength I told her that I will elaborate what I said just now. The thing is, “Look, child, I just want to know where I stand on your priority list. I know this is not the kind of question I should ask but for me at this point in time, it is very important. I am getting this feeling of insecurity as I feel I have lost my friends to quite an extent. I do not have the strength to lose even one more friend of mine. The reason behind this is I feel emotions and things very deeply; and you are someone who means a lot to me. I feel lucky to be sitting with you here and I will love to do so as long as we are here in the same city. The sole reason that I am asking you is because you have a very good social life to which mine is nothing. There are high chances that we are not on the same page and that is totally okay. I am asking it because I do not form unnecessary expectations from you.”

I thought she will get angry at me and even might be a little disappointed. However, what she said me; make me love her more even today.

She told me, “Look Vyom, I know you and understand you. I can empathize with your insecurity. I won’t say it is justified but never keep anything in your mind. You do mean a lot Vyom. If I was to set a benchmark or line of distinction for my friends, you will always be above that line. You are just like Kashish and Manushi. In fact, I always prefer to spend time with you and not with them. You see something in me which they do not see.”

I was just staring at her blankly and that annoyed her. She waved in front of my eyes and asked,” OYEE BC!! Does that make sense to you?”

I was satisfied and the insecurity got reduced to quite an extent. I apologized for the same and even today KAVISHA, when you are reading thing, I wish to tell you sorry once again. It does sound bad no?

I will not say thank you for understanding, instead I will say I wish someday one day I can be as understanding as you at least in some matters.

To be continued

 

Dakota – Episode 1

“I will reach around 2:30 at PVR. See you directly over there.”, saying this I disconnected the phone. I precisely remember that within 5 seconds I got a callback. As soon as I picked up the call, she shouted, ” Pick me from home and go and don’t even think of directly reaching to PVR.”  I was like okay, why will I mind that.

Now you know what happens is like when we are going to a movie, she is always on time and in general, there is a pattern of her to come late depending on the time zone. However, after that, she manages to be so sweet and say sorry in such a way that your mind says, ” bc now you cannot do anything.” Coming back to the matter, for a change I was late and as usual, I was out of balance. As soon as I reach her home she was just standing out. She was dressed in sand colour printed floral kurta and black leggings. I, like any other creep, greeted her with a huge smile.

She sat in the car and promptly waited till I get out of her society. I think that was my safe zone. As soon as we reached out of her society, she turned towards me and shouted, ” are you mad?

She shouted, “chodu, tane bhan nathi padti movie no show che? (Don’t you realise we have a movie show?)”

I was like, ” I am never late, it just happened because I was busy.” In my mind, I was like good job Vyom.

She replied even better, “Stop the car and let me drive.”

I can see myself losing. I very quietly gave her the car. She smiled and I breathed once again. She sat on the driver’s seat, adjusting the driver’s seat and cuddling the steering wheel and asking my car that did it miss her?  There are two things about her, one is I like her driving and second is, never come across her car when she is driving. The only reason is either you have to give her side or else the one sitting with her will have to bear her  impatience and that’s me.

With a puppy face, I said ,” You look very pretty.”

She laughed and replied,” Pyom, if I won’t get angry on you then on whom will I get angry.  haqq che maro (it’s my right)”

Meanwhile, we reached the theatre and by god’s mercy, we reached on time. We went to watch M.S. Dhoni- the untold story. Being a Dhoni fan, I thought nothing was untold in the story. However, the moment I was about to speak that, she took my piece of samosa. What next then? The entire movie I watched with a straight face and felt helpless about it. However, she got a cheese popcorn and even shared. At times, she is kind.

WhatsApp Image 2017-03-11 at 20.59.18.

She loved the movie, that means if I am going to speak anything against it, I am done. However, let me be a little serious, I enjoyed a lot. That making fun of people or teasing that actually made no sense also seemed logical. The entire evening was so well spent till the time she said, I will drive and then…

To be continued…

Episode 2: Probably it will be on how she supported me through all the hard times.

 

 

 

Dakota

Introduction

I know the title may sound weird and abrupt to you. Looking at the title one may not be able to relate it.The meaning of this word is someone who has been mostly very kind to people and hasn’t be given the fairest chances. The person who is caring, sweet and notices all the good things in people and makes them feel comfortable to be themselves. A dakota is some who is loved by everyone but maybe not always for the ways wanted.

It is the story of friendship. It is the story of a girl named Kavisha Shah whom I very accidently met two years ago. A story of a journey with a person who acts like a mother and is totally opposite to dakota when with me.

I have to admit that she is beautiful. She is kind, caring and sweet with every person in the world except me.  She notices all the good things in people and she also manages to notices all the bad things in me. The last time she appreciated me was before 7 months if I precisely remember.However, she manages me to feel comfortable. She listens to all my cries, all my complaints and never judges me for any shit I do. She is loved by everyone, but there is a different equation between us. She hates me and I hate her. We fight, but at the end of the day, I need her. You know why? I need her because I can blame her for my problems and we can fight again.

WhatsApp Image 2017-01-22 at 10.32.52

Dakota is the journey which will take you in the world where you dreamt of doing all those crazy things with one the best person of your life. We are often mistaken as a couple and we give major friendship goals to people is what the kind people of the world say. Nevertheless, get ready to read the story of an unconventional bond and relation I share with Kavisha, A journey of ups and downs, happiness and sadness, myths and reality.

Episode 1 coming soon.

I belong here… I belong to Lutalica

You know what?

Today, I wish to confess the most indeed beautiful moments of my life which helped me to become a writer and a part of a wonderful magazine named Lutalica. For others, it is a place where they can find articles to which they can relate. However, for me, it is place who gave me the identity of being a writer.

There comes a time in our life when we feel the need to share or express things so that we can feel our existence. For me, it was nothing different. I was at a stage where I badly wish to share things. I was suffocating inside as I felt a part of my identity refuses to fit into categories.I always felt that there is something more important than living your life is knowing the philosophy of it. However, there was no one to listen to it.

What happens if you fill the water in a bottle beyond its limit? It overflows right. Similarly, in my case, it started getting accumulated inside my heart, then my mind and in the end, there was no room for it to expand. I found no place where I can express myself.

Therefore before a year and a half, I started my blog. However, I never knew that it will end up in a disaster. There was no constructive criticism, there were no good debates about my content. All I faced was some known as well as unknown people either making fun of it or laughing on the way I write. I am someone who is always open to constructive criticism but at that moment I was sinking into depression. I was wondering whether I should continue writing or not? I started doubting my philosophies and my way of living. I started doubting myself.

One fine day, Abha called me and told me to meet her. When I went to meet her, she asked me, “Do you want to write for a magazine which I am planning to launch?” At that moment, I did not know what to answer as I always heard that I suck at my content and philosophy. I said yes to her. However, at that moment I was not able to gather enough strength to ask her that why she wants me to work for her.

This is how Lutalica happened to me. Lutalica gave identity to that part of mine, which do not fit into specific categories. It gave voice to my opinions, philosophy and respected me enough to tell the world proudly that yes, I am a writer. However, does it end here? No, when it comes to writing, whatever I learnt is because I got one chance to express myself. I got a platform where the people do not judge words and the idea to expressed are respected.

The foremost thing it taught me is when you write, write it for yourself. How can you give justice to your article when you are not satisfied with it. Yes, there were times when my article didn’t work. There were and there are times when they are so grammatically wrong. However, I was taught everything without and with criticism.

It has been more than 8 months that I am working for Lutalica as a part of the core committee member, but it seems like I have been associated with them since forever. We are not only great friends, but we are a family. Even, if one of us fall, there are four to hold you back. Somewhere, just telling one yes changed some of the major aspects of my life.

I have seen Lutalica growing and I have seen my dream of performing my work coming true because of Lutalica. I feel so proud to say yes, I am part of the organising team of Lutalica’s event. Well, now I am short of words.

Lastly, I just wish to say, I belong to a place where you do not need to fit in. I say I belong to a place where you can express and bring your soul to peace. I belong to Lutalica.