What is wrong? What is right? Whose perception is more substantial than other? Who is better than whom? Why do we objectify these things when they are very subjective in nature. However, I am a person who is wavering through all these things and trying to make sense out of it.
For me, everything I hear or see feels the same. As soon as I try to categorize them, I feel like I am swaggering in the middle of the wooden bridge. When I make the choice of staying on one side of the bridge, the other end restricts my entry permanently and vice versa. By taking the side of the bridge I refer to my perception of right and wrong. And if I try to present them with reasons, all of sudden it no longer remains subjective.
Lately, I realise that selecting one side of the bridge is a delusion—a delusion which is intentionally created in order to make you feel guilty, anxious or even satisfied at times. However, the question is why do we always fall into the trap of this fallacy? Or are we forced to be a part of it? The mystery still lies in the philosophy of taking the stand of one thing.
We have always been told that you should tell what you feel. However, when you express the things, there is no guarantee that it will be taken in a good manner. It will be subjective from the point of view of the person to whom it is addressed. It is just like selecting one ice cream from two flavors which you hate equally. Yes, I suffer because of this, as it feels very contradictory in general and trying to find contradiction to this contradiction makes me fall into a greater version of delusion.
This delusion is the delusion of choice—the delusion where I think I have more than one choice. And if you fall into this trap, then the only way out is either take the beating or make no choice. Because how can you choose from something that is merely a false belief. A belief about which you know nothing. It is like you are in 6th std and you are sent to IIT tuitions so that you will crack JEE exams. It is delusion which contradicts the false belief of clearing JEE exams.
In the end, I end up thinking is there any middle way? However, if I cut a false belief in two halves, it will just multiply. So now, instead of making choice of right and wrong, I will have 2 more perceptions i.e. to find right in wrong and vice versa. This even complicates things to an extent that it is not possible to get out.
The mind says the only way to get out of this is too fucking not take any part in the game of right or wrong, truth or lie, reality, and fantasies or examining the efficacy of the substantiality of matter. Nevertheless, here principles come in between and tell how can you just run away from making a decision? Now, this is not a delusion, but it is a conscious effort to contradict all the contradiction of delusions in the name of principles and decisions. The conscious effort is again the subjective part of your mind which tells you to believe that your decisions are objective in nature.
In the end, I decided to take a vote, a vote which tells me to what extent I should fall into the trap of delusions. This again contradicts the theory of life and it goes on…