The Rise And Fall Of A Writer – 2

Did that phase where I was rising as a writer changed me? No, I was still the same during that phase. However, being an egoistic person there was a huge boost to my ego and it motivated me to write even better. 

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If you have missed the first part of The Rise And Fall Of A Writer, click here.


Meanwhile, in the midst of this process, I got addicted to my addiction to nicotine. I use to lock myself from the world so that I can write about the philosophies of living the idea of an individual being the heroic being. However, one thing I missed out on was me entering the zone from where coming out is a difficult task. I had so many things to write that I forgot to experiment.

I kept on drafting and drafting the articles on Mind Mosaic without thinking of when it will be published. I use to improve from article to article but now that when I go back to the times I see I could have improved better. Abha always gave me the feedback about what I can improve in the next article. She always made sure that I do not repeat my mistakes again. However, there were some mistakes that remained the same. The only reason for this because I drafted so many articles at once.

Slowly, I realised that I was swinging in middle of my theories in the articles and my principles on which I use to live. They were two conflicting parameters that made me trample in my journey of learning during the times of Mind Mosaic. I think I was too late in realising this mistake as I saw my alter ego parted ways with my conscience. I had to choose one way, whether to stop writing for some time or follow the philosophies I write about. I chose the latter one but here the question arises is was my decision right? What if I would have gone with the first option?

By this time, the only different article I tried was to write a movie review which focuses more on the content of the movie. That was not a very successful attempt and I again went back to my comfort zone that is philosophy. In all these chaos the one good thing that happened to me was the people around me started accepting me as a writer. The criticism turned into respect — respect for not giving up. Abha always told that your content is very niche and that is something I like about it. And I was finally seeing myself as a writer and the person who has achieved something. Though at an exponential rate but the graph of my articles was going up.

Did that phase where I was rising as a writer changed me? No, I was still the same during that phase. However, being an egoistic person there was a huge boost to my ego and it motivated me to write even better.

Meanwhile, between all these chaos my personal life continued to remain messy. I am the person who never had a stable personal life even though I had everything I wanted. In this phase, I forgot that people existed and I kept on working and smoking. Cigarettes were the only object who saw the terror while I use to write to the most vulnerable sufferings my conscience undergo in craving for love.

Why didn’t I chose to write about it? I asked these questions to myself many times. However, the only answer I got was all your write-ups are derived from the sufferings of your personal life and all your principles are the proof of why you are responsible for that sufferings. I can never thank Abha to how long she heard all of these and still having different ideology made sure I learn things in my own way, During Mind Mosaic, I found a best friend who was also the founder and younger than me. During this phase, I met some brilliant individuals with their own set of expertise in their areas. I consider myself lucky to meet Akash, Rushi and Aashna.

However, due to few reasons, Mind Mosaic failed and it came to an end. Does that make a difference?


to be continued…

 

 

 

 

 

Dakota – Final Episode

Frosty Snowman, “You idiot, never change. Be unapologetic for the things where you are not wrong. Love yourself. Love me at times. Laugh a little more. Never cry. Spread love. Never forget me. Make this world a better place to live in.”

If you missed the first part of the open letter. Go to Dakota – Episode 5


An open letter to you, Miss Shah

Hey you,

Your words leave a powerful impact and they are reflected in one or the other way in my articles or preachings. I know I always write philosophy and things which sound boring to you. But, you know I once used your preaching in my article and gave that thing a voice through my words. It was by far my most viewed article and my personal favourite. However, quoting that again below. Have a look at it and realise how good you are.

Someone once told me, “Forget everything and go on a break. Take your car, go for a drive. Spend a little quality time in the lap of nature, have a beer maybe, and just absorb the beauty of your life. The more you connect with yourself, the better life becomes. Remember that delusions are temporary, but conscience is undying. Do not let it die. Do not die several times before you die.”

You know in this journey with you, I find that you have a very innocent heart. No matter, how hard you are but from inside you are just a 6-year old baby. I, at times just think that how different an individual can be.

We do share an amazing relation and every successful relation comes with a price. You paid a price of compromising and at times even letting go. Today, I take this opportunity and apologise you for every time I hurt you. I am really sorry for the times I made you wait and I am sorry for the times I cancelled our meeting. Adding to it, I will like to say I am sorry for the time when I lost my faith and disconnected with you.

Again, I will love to thank you for the times you stayed behind me. I am not really good with expressing emotions and things I feel. In spite of it, thankyou for understanding those unsaid words. Thankyou for not judging for the things I do and understanding me. I am really out of words for now but trust me my eyes have tears while writing you this.

I really do not know whether we will be like this forever as I do not believe in that word. However, till the time I am with you, I promise you that I will not let you fall. Never stop treating me with such amazing food and good Kishore Kumar songs.

Kavisha Shah, there is one wish and the wish to travel with you at least once. I think that can one of the best thing that can happen to us.

Frosty Snowman, “You idiot, never change. Be unapologetic for the things where you are not wrong. Love yourself. Love me at times. Laugh a little more. Never cry. Spread love. Never forget me. Make this world a better place to live in.”

Signing off,

Your antisocial Friend,

Vyom Desai


The end


I promise to return soon with new series of episodes of Dakota. Stay tuned.

Dakota – Episode 5

An open to letter to you, Miss shah

Hey Kavisha Shah,

How are you doing? It’s been a long time that I have met you. Actually, it’s been just 2 days but somewhere it feels like a week you know. Next Sunday is your birthday bro!!! Excited? I know you are not at all excited and that is why I am writing this letter.

Do you remember the first time we met? I wished you happy birthday one day prior to the day of your birthday and I really do not why I did such a mistake. I actually started doubting my stalking skills. I must admit that you took that thing in a very good manner or else any other person would just avoid thinking me as a creepy person. However, I know I am the one.

I am glad that we became friends and then there was no looking back. Now, coming back to present, I feel that on 26th it is my birthday. I am fucking excited and I even do not know why. I know I should be the one who can never be so happy looking you happy. Nevertheless, let me tell you why I am so happy. It is because this time I will gift you something officially. Did you understand what I mean? I mean you will not just take my any perfume or things just without asking. It will be your day frosty snowman, ask for anything and you will get it. However, do not ask for the watch you gave me.

I am writing this to you because there are a lot of things I wish to tell you. There are things of yours which inspire me a lot and there are things which I love a lot. There are many things which I might have already told you and some things that are unsaid.

I have always looked up to you when I am in any kind of problem. I must admit, I hate your way of approach but it is so right at times. It inspires me a lot that how can anyone stay so happy and jolly forgetting all her problems. I know everyone has their own sort of problems but you are someone who looks sorted. I, at times, do understand the things you are suffering from or the problems you facing. But the only reason I never tell you is because I know you will solve it in your way.

It is fascinating to see the way you overcome that. I am proud of you the way you are. My heart overwhelms with joy when I see you succeeding in the things you always wanted to do. If you ask me which was your best moment in the year of 2016. I will just say it was the moment when your research paper was selected at Oxford University. I had a tear in my eyes watching the video of your presentation. I do not admit these things because my emotions hit too hard to feel. Anyways, for a change, you look better in formals. You look like a lady, a lady carrying herself so perfectly.

You know what I always tell you there is something unusual about you. You stand out of the crowd. Have you ever thought why you stand out of the crowd? If you reading this, move your lazy ass from your bed and look at yourself in the mirror. There is a different kind of brightness on your face; the brightness unlike that of normal people. You have got the guts to tell the unsaid things. You have got the guts, to tell the truth.

I feel utmost respect for you when you achieve things which you dream of. I feel utmost respect for you when you travel so religiously. However, I miss you when you travel. Your hard work is something that inspired me to sustain in nuclear engineering. Never ever think of taking a step backwards in your life. I will be there to support you, you no.

Coming to the things which I love about you. Starting with the way you understand your family. I love the way you understand your mother and brother. I wish I will be able to do that ever.

You know I love your driving. Still, there is always the scope for improvement.I love you for the every memory you gave me. I love you for our Zindagi sessions. Anyways, there are a lot of things for which I hate you. Anyways, we will keep it for the next time.

You know Kavisha, we at a certain age of our lives start understanding the things that are good or bad for us. I learnt that in a very hard way and it took a lot of time. But in your case I remember, you have learnt it so easily and at an early age. I love the way you can talk to any people. I love the way how you feel so strong about photography. I love the way you write because even after writing for more than 3 years, I cannot really leave that impact which you leave by your simple words. And yes, I love your playlist.

Lastly, I can sense from the problems you are facing. But don’t worry child you will be good. You have me if you wish to share anything. Happy birthday, child.

Vyom Desai.


To be continued