It is very often said that a person undergoes the best and worst times of their life at a certain stage so that they can understand the importance of their existence. However, I was a person who never believed this philosophy. I am such a person who can feel his existence in every breath he takes. Neverhtheless, today, I fail to do so. I am neither a big personality nor a great writer but this is my story. A story of my rise and fall not just as a writer but even as a person.
My journey of being a writer started back in 2014 when I was a boy who was writing his tears. I never had any thoughts or dream to be a writer. I started writing as a process of evacuation of my feelings or probably to show my lost love of what I feel about her. That write-ups neither had proper grammar or a sentence formation. They were just a rant of the teenage boy who wants things to function according to him.
However, I never realised when that amateur writing helped me to feel emotions so strongly. I was able to see emotions right through the person just like the light that passes through an object without reflection. I kept on writing and it was a year but I didn’t stop. The only improvements that happened in my writings were the concept and the content. I was in an impression that what I write is a good mixture of content and grammar.
With that impression in my mind, I thought of creating a blog in 2015 named Jharokha. Well, the same blog on which you are reading my story. I had hundred of thoughts of writing articles which are a mixture of philosophy and personal touch and the very first article I published was titled as the ‘That Abstract Feelings’. I also made a facebook page to showcase my work and also sent it to people to review it.
The criticism I faced was very shocking or rather I can say it was little disappointing. It all started with one person laughing on the content to the second person laughing on grammar. On the other side, I found few people telling me it was a nice article but when I asked Why you felt it was nice then there were no answers. I noted down some of the points in which they were laughing about and wrote one more piece. It turned out to be a disaster in terms of the concept. However, I found one or two people who actually appreciated the concept, content and even gave constructive feedback.
It is said that a writer has to keep an open mind when it comes to taking the ideas or criticism. I made sure I do that but as I kept on publishing the article, the criticism I use to get started decreasing. I saw my friends creating a joke out of it, putting the mistakes in the groups and laughing on it. I do not know but I started doubting myself during that point. Everytime, I picked up the pen I had second thoughts about writing. However, even with that trembling pen I didn’t stop writing my philosophies.
After 3 months, I met a woman named Abha Mehra in the NGO where I was working. She read my blog, provided me with honest reviews every time when I asked for. One day she called me to meet her and asked me, “Would you like to work and write with us for our online magazine? Though we cannot pay you.” I was very hesitant because of the way I saw my write-ups getting humiliated. In the end I said a big YES to her.
This is where my journey as a writer started. It was the phase where I started to learn how does one set the flow of an article, how does one use metaphors and most important part how can one create an article from a single idea or thought. Initially, it was very difficult and I was very under confident about the work I used to do. Moreover, I saw the other team members talking and sharing their views. To be honest, I was scared on seeing their confidence and approach they have but I tried to absorb good things from them. These helped me to learn many things especially the content execution and to some extent even grammar. The first article that went on board was the “Transformation – An Inevitable Journey”.
I was very nervous when the article was published but when Akash told me that it worked really well, there was a moment where I was regaining my confidence as a writer. Abha was the one who edited it and after it, I saw people actually loved it. Abha always told me that my strong point is content and make sure that it is never compromised. I always use to tell her that I write for myself and no one else.
In these process of writing on my blog and Mind Mosaic, I realised my genre is Philosophy and I started writing on individualism and ideal man theory. The second article was titled as “The Masterpiece”. There was no looking back and the graph of my write-ups started increasing. Meanwhile, in the midst of this process, I got addicted to…
to be continued…